(Transcribed by TurboScribe.ai. Go Unlimited to remove this message.)
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Picture this, you're having a perfectly normal day and then something small happens. Someone cuts you off in traffic, your partner leaves dishes in the sink, or your child ignores you when you're speaking. Suddenly you're flooded with emotion that feels way bigger than the situation deserves.
Can you relate? Growing up, most of us weren't taught what an emotional outburst meant. We were told to toughen up, calm down, or just get over it. But here's the truth, outbursts aren't about being weak or dramatic.
They're our body's way of saying something deeper just got touched. And when we ignore outbursts, we miss the chance to understand ourselves better. Now there is a difference between stress and an emotional outburst.
Understanding this distinction changes everything. Stress occurs when life's demands pile up, such as deadlines, responsibilities, and not enough hours in the day. You feel overwhelmed, maybe exhausted, but it reflects what's happening around you.
An outburst or trigger though is different. It's that sudden flood of emotion when something in the present moment taps into something painful from the past. It can look like snapping at your partner over something minor, shutting down completely when criticized, or feeling invisible when someone cuts you off in line.
Those aren't just random overreactions. They're emotional triggers that open the door to old wounds or unmet needs. Here's what we weren't taught.
These moments are actually information. But our parents didn't have the tools to explain this to us. When we had outbursts as children, they often brush them off with phrases like, don't be so sensitive, or stop overreacting, or my personal favorite, you're being too dramatic.
Without realizing it, they passed down a belief that emotions should be hidden or controlled instead of understood. Consequently, what is the impact on our kids when we don't understand this? We end up doing the same thing. We say calm down when they're triggered, or it's not that big a deal when they're overwhelmed.
We teach them that their emotional responses are problems to be fixed rather than signals to be understood. And when we don't understand our outbursts, we pass that same pattern of emotional disconnection to the next generation. Welcome to Lessons for Life with Grandma Kate.
If you want to stop yelling, end the daily power struggles, or manage your frustration better, but don't know how, you're in the right place. I get it. I was there too.
As a grandma, I finally started learning the emotional life skills I wish I'd learned at a younger age. Each week, I share simple practical resources that help you develop your own social skills so that you can be the calm, confident inspiration to others. New episodes drop every Thursday, so hit that subscribe button.
And hey, if something here speaks to you, leaving a quick review helps others find this podcast too. Like a lighthouse, steady and strong, let's all shine a little brighter today. Understanding our triggers is directly tied to what we call self-awareness in social emotional learning.
Self-awareness isn't just knowing that you're angry or sad. It's about recognizing what you're feeling, why you're feeling it, and how it shows up in your body and behavior. Emotional outbursts are like flashing lights on your emotional dashboard.
Urgent signals that self-awareness is desperately needed. Realizing this can bring a new level of self-awareness and enlightenment. Why does this matter so much in your daily life? Because once you can name and understand what's happening inside during those moments, you shift from being controlled by your reactions to having the power to respond differently.
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You stop being at the mercy of your triggers and start using them as tools for deeper self-understanding. I had a moment not long ago at the grocery store that brought this home for me in a way I'll never forget. I was standing in line, tired from a long day, just wanting to get home.
The woman in front of me motioned to her friend to slide in ahead of me. Right there, cutting the line like I wasn't even there. Instantly, my chest tightened, my jaw cleansed, and I had this thought that was way too intense for the situation.
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Seriously, do I not even exist here? I felt this familiar surge of indignation mixed with something that felt almost like hurt. That wasn't an emotional outburst happening inside of me. On the outside, it might have looked like mild irritation, maybe a slight eye roll or a deep sigh.
But on the inside, it was a full trigger. That small, everyday moment of being overlooked tapped into something so much bigger. Old feelings of being dismissed, of not mattering, of being invisible in my own life.
The mistake I used to make was ignoring outbursts like this, or worse, judging myself for having them. I'd think, wow, you're so sensitive. It's just a grocery line.
Get over it. I'd stuff it down and move on, never understanding why these little moments hit me so hard. What I do differently now is pause and ask, what does this really remind me of? That shift has been everything.
Standing there in that grocery line, I realized this wasn't really about someone cutting in front of me. It was about all the times in my life I had felt overlooked. In meetings where my ideas were dismissed.
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In friendships where I felt like an afterthought. And in childhood moments where I felt invisible in my family. That outburst became a clue.
It helped me see a pattern I'd been carrying for years without even realizing it. Outbursts aren't just messy, inconvenient moments. They're breadcrumbs leading us back to the parts of ourselves that need attention and understanding.
One of the simplest ways to start working with emotional outbursts is what I call notice, name, and reflect. This practice is a powerful tool for emotional self-improvement. It sounds almost too simple, but don't let that fool you.
This practice can be transformative. It equips you with a practical tool to understand and manage your emotional responses. First, notice when it happens.
Your heart races. Your voice gets sharp. You feel that urge to shut down or lash out.
Maybe your shoulders tense up or you get that familiar nod in your stomach. These physical signals are often the first indication that you've been triggered. Sometimes before you consciously become aware of the emotion.
Second, name it by saying either out loud or to yourself, I just had an outburst or that triggered me. This isn't about judgment. It's about awareness.
Naming breaks the automatic cycle where we either explode or stuff it down. It creates a pause, a moment of clarity in the emotional storm. And third, reflect by asking, what does this remind me of? Not, why am I overreacting? Or, what's wrong with me? But genuinely curious questions like, when have I felt this way before? Or, what old wound just got touched? That's how uncovering your outbursts help you understand yourself better.
You start to see patterns. Maybe you snap when you feel unheard or you withdraw when you sense rejection or you get defensive when you feel criticized. Each reflection gives you more clarity on who you are, what your tender spots are and what matters most to you.
It's like having a conversation with the parts of yourself that have been trying to get your attention for years. Here's where this gets really powerful. You can model this emotional awareness in real time for your kids and it changes everything about how they learn to navigate their emotional world.
If you have a trigger in front of them, instead of pretending it didn't happen or making excuses, name it out loud. Wow, I got really upset just then because I felt ignored. Or, I snapped because something about that situation reminded me of feeling dismissed and that's an old hurt for me.
Modeling self-awareness shows your kids that emotions aren't shameful. They're information. It teaches them that grown-ups have big feelings too and that the goal isn't to be perfect but to be aware and honest about what's happening inside.
And when your child has an outburst, when they melt down over a broken crayon or lose it because their sibling looked at them wrong, instead of saying, calm down or it's not that big a deal, you can say something really upset you. Your body is telling us that something important got touched. Let's figure it out together.
That shift teaches them that their emotions have meaning, that their outbursts are signals worth paying attention to and that they can learn from these intense moments instead of just surviving them. So this week, I want you to catch just one moment where your reaction feels bigger than the situation deserves. Maybe it's when someone interrupts you, when you feel criticized or when you're ignored.
Instead of brushing it off, pause and name it. That was an outburst. Something just got triggered.
Then ask, what does this remind me of? Don't try to fix it. Don't try to make it go away. Just notice and reflect.
Get curious about what your emotional reaction might be trying to tell you about an old wound, an unmet need or a part of yourself that's been asking for attention. That's your quick win for the week. One moment of curiosity instead of judgment.
One pause instead of pushing through and one question instead of dismissal. In conclusion, emotional outbursts are fundamentally different from stress. Your body reacts first before your mind catches up.
A tight chest, the urge to snap or the impulse to shut down. These are all signs that something more profound has been activated. Learning to notice these physical cues gives you the power to pause before you react.
And lastly and most importantly, outbursts are clues, not character flaws. When you shift from seeing them as problems to fix to information to understand, they become powerful tools for self-awareness. Each trigger becomes a breadcrumb leading you back to a deeper understanding of who you are and what you need to heal or honor in yourself.
Whether you're figuring out your own feelings, working through a tough moment as a family or learning how to talk things through with others, you're practicing the emotional life skills that help us grow into the people we want to be. Listening is great but nothing changes if you don't actually use what you've just learned. So pick one idea from today and try it out this week.
That's when the magic happens. And if you want to keep building your social skills, hit follow for more life lessons with Grandma Kate. If no one has told you lately, everything will be okay.
Tomorrow is a new day and with it comes new hope. As I conclude this episode, I must state that this podcast is designed solely for educational and entertainment purposes. While I bring my experience as a parent and grandparent, it's essential that you know I am NOT a licensed therapist.
This podcast is not a substitute for professional advice from a physician, professional coach, psychotherapist or other qualified professional. Got it? Awesome! Until next time, what is one thing you are grateful for?
(Transcribed by TurboScribe.ai. Go Unlimited to remove this message.)
