(Transcribed by TurboScribe.ai. Go Unlimited to remove this message.)
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It took me 45 years to discover a skill that you can teach your kids in 30 seconds. The brain science behind why it works? That's my bonus takeaway at the very end. And it's going to change how you think about this forever.
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Here's the thing. I didn't grow up with parents who showed me how to manage my emotions or find the silver lining when life got messy. In my house, emotional coaching sounded something like you'll be fine, don't cry, back up.
And that was about as deep as the wisdom went. So when I became a mom, and later a grandmother, I was basically flying blind when it came to showing my kids how to handle stress, frustration, or disappointment in healthy ways. I was winging it, hoping I'd figure it out as I went along.
But a few years ago, and I'm talking just a few years ago, not decades, I made one small shift in my daily behavior. Something so ridiculously simple that I almost dismissed it. But it changed everything.
Not just how I handled my worst days, but how my kids and grandkids started handling theirs. Welcome to Lessons for Life with Grandma Kate. If you want to stop yelling, end the daily power struggles, or manage your frustration better, but don't know how, you're in the right place.
I get it. I was there too. As a grandma, I finally started learning the emotional skills I wish I'd had as a younger mom.
Each week, I'll share those lessons with you. Simple, practical ways to grow your emotional skills so you can be the calm, confident inspiration your kids need. New episodes drop every Thursday, so hit that subscribe button.
And hey, if something here speaks to you, leaving a quick review helps others find it too. Like a lighthouse steady and strong, let's all shine a little brighter today. Now before you think I'm about to give you some fluffy, just think positive thought speech, hear me out.
Because people throw around the word grateful like it's the same thing as saying thanks when someone holds a door open for you. But it's so much deeper than that. Being thankful, that's usually about a specific moment.
Someone does something nice, you say thanks, you move on. But gratitude, that's a completely different animal. It's a way of seeing the world.
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It's this practice of noticing and genuinely appreciating what's good in your life, even when, and this is the key part, even when everything isn't going the way you planned. And for me, that shift from quick thank you's to this daily habit of really noticing, it's been absolutely life changing. Let me paint you a picture from last month.
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It was a Wednesday. Why is it always Wednesday? And I needed to pick up a few things from the store. Simple, right? Well, the store was completely out of what I needed.
So I drove to another store. Also out. Third store, jackpot.
Except by the time I was walking back to my car, it starts absolutely pouring. And of course, I have no coat, no umbrella, nothing. I get home looking like a drowned rat.
And what do I find? My dog has left me a lovely surprise, right in the middle of the living room carpet. Now the old me, the me from even three years ago, would have carried that frustration like a heavy backpack for the rest of the evening. I would have been grumpy at dinner, short with my husband, and probably would have rehashed the whole ridiculous day to anyone who would have listened.
But here's what's happened instead. I stood there in my wet clothes, staring at this mess. And I actually paused.
I took a breath. And I reminded myself of something I've been practicing. Everything works out for my good.
Even if I can't see how yet. And you know what? When I look back on that disaster of a day, I realized something beautiful had happened. If I hadn't needed to go to that second store, I would have never run into my friend Sarah, who was having the worst day and really needed someone to talk to.
The stranger with the umbrella who offered to share it with me, we ended up having this wonderful five-minute conversation about our grandkids. And when I was down on my hands and knees cleaning that carpet, I actually slowed down long enough to listen, and I mean really listen, to my husband telling me about his day. Gratitude didn't magically make the mess disappear, but it completely changed how I carried the weight of that day.
And that shift, that's what I needed to learn before I could teach it. Now, I'll be honest with you. When my daughter used to roll her eyes at me for the third time in 10 minutes, or when my son would ask for what feels like the 43rd time in a row, gratitude was not my first instinct.
Not even close. But here's what I've discovered. The more I practice this, the calmer my voice gets, the more patient I feel.
And this is the cool part. The easier it becomes for others to follow my lead instead of matching my frustration. As parents, it's as simple as saying, you know what? I'm really glad we get to spend this homework time together.
Even when math is hard. Or noticing out loud when the dog does something that makes them giggle and saying, I love hearing you laugh like that. Or even after a particularly challenging day, looking them in the eye and saying, hey, I'm grateful for you, even on the tough days.
Because here's what I've learned. Kids don't just hear what we say. They're watching how we act.
They're studying us like little emotional scientists. And when they see you pause in the You're showing them a skill they'll use for the rest of their lives. Now you don't need a fancy gratitude journal or some elaborate morning routine to start this.
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Let me give you three tiny ways you can model gratitude today. And I mean today, as your kid is getting out of the car when you're dropping them off at school, try saying, one thing I'm grateful for today is, and just fill in the blank. Maybe it's their smile.
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Maybe it's your morning coffee. Maybe it's that you found matching socks. It doesn't matter.
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They hear you finding good in ordinary moments. And what about the dinner table? Go around the and have everyone share one good thing from their day. And listen, it doesn't have to be profound.
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The mac and cheese didn't burn. That totally counts. The point is practicing the muscle of noticing good things.
And while you're tucking them in at night, share one specific thing you loved about your time together that day. Maybe it was how they helped their little sister. Maybe it was the way they concentrated on their drawing.
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Maybe it was just a hug they gave you when you got home. 30 seconds. That's all it takes.
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But you're planting seeds that will grow for decades. Here's what's really happening when we model gratitude. We're teaching self-management, one of the core social emotional learning skills that helps regulate emotions, manage stress, and bounce back from difficult situations.
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And if you're like me and didn't grow up with parents who taught you these skills, don't worry. We can learn them alongside our kids. In fact, sometimes that makes us even better teachers because we understand what it feels like to navigate emotions without a roadmap.
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Before I wrap up, here are three key takeaways you can start using today. Number one, model the pause. When life gets chaotic, let your kids see you take a breath and consciously look for something good in the situation.
This teaches them that emotions are manageable, not overwhelming forces that have to be swept away. And number two, make gratitude specific and verbal. Instead of just thinking grateful thoughts, say them out loud.
I'm thankful we get this time together or I love hearing your laugh. This shows kids exactly what practicing gratitude looks and sounds like. And you don't need grand gestures.
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30 seconds at bedtime, one comment during school drop off, or a quick share at dinner. Small moments create lasting skills. And here's your bonus takeaway.
Something I haven't mentioned yet, but want you to know. When you practice gratitude consistently, you're actually rewiring your brain's default response to stress. Neuroscience shows us that gratitude literally changes how your brain processes difficult situations.
So you're not just teaching your kids a nice habit, you're giving them a tool that will make them more resilient for life. So today, pick one moment to find something you're genuinely grateful for and say it out loud. Let your kids hear it.
Let them see you building the emotional skills you're actually teaching them. And whether you're figuring out your own feelings, learning how to talk things through with your kids, or working through a tough moment as a family, you're learning to become the parent you want to be. Listening is great, but nothing changes if you don't actually do something with what you've heard.
Pick one idea from today and then use it this week. That's when the magic happens. And if you want to keep building these parenting skills, hit follow for more from Lessons for Life with Grandma Kate.
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As I conclude this episode, I must state that this podcast is designed solely for educational and entertainment purposes. While I bring my experience as a parent and grandparent, it's essential that you know, I am not a licensed therapist. This podcast is not a substitute for professional advice from a physician, professional coach, psychotherapist, or other qualified professional.
Got it? Awesome. Until next time, what is one thing you are grateful for?
(Transcribed by TurboScribe.ai. Go Unlimited to remove this message.)
