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Can I ask you something personal? Have you ever looked in the mirror and questioned yourself? Like deep down, you wondered if you were good enough, smart enough, capable enough, that constant second guessing, that quiet voice that says, you're not ready, or you'll probably mess this up. That's self-doubt, and it can sneak into every part of our lives if we don't learn to stop it. Here's what most people don't realize.
Self-doubt isn't just about confidence. It's often rooted in how we were treated, especially growing up. I've lived with self-doubt for most of my life.
It started in childhood where I was often criticized, ignored, or made to feel like I just wasn't enough. And when that happens, we start believing it. We carry those messages into adulthood, into relationships, parenting, work, and even how we talk to ourselves.
In this episode, I want to walk you through what self-doubt really is, where it comes from, and nine powerful ways to overcome it and finally start believing in yourself again. Welcome to the Lessons for Life with Grandma Kate podcast. Each week, I share stories, reflections, and gentle guidance to help you navigate life's relationships, especially the ones that start with yourself.
I discuss topics such as learning to say no when something doesn't feel right, finding your voice, and working through everyday conflicts with kindness and courage. These aren't just skills. They're the building blocks of self-esteem and can help you live with more clarity, confidence, and heart.
New episodes drop every Thursday, so hit that subscribe button and join me on this journey. And hey, if something here speaks to you, leaving a quick review helps others find it too. Like a lighthouse, steady and strong, let all shine a little brighter today.
Let's start with what is self-doubt. Self-doubt is that little voice inside you that whispers, you can't do this. It's a lack of trust in your abilities, your decisions, or your worth.
And while it's normal to feel unsure sometimes, chronic self-doubt holds us back from taking chances, building self-esteem, and living a life we feel proud of. So where does self-doubt come from? For many of us, it comes from past experiences. Maybe you've failed at something important.
Maybe someone criticized you harshly and it stuck. Maybe you've spent years comparing yourself to others, especially online, and convinced yourself that everyone else has it more together than you. But for a lot of people, especially those who grew up in emotionally abusive or critical households, self-doubt runs deeper.
It doesn't come from what you did. It comes from how you were raised. Maybe you heard things like, you'll never amount to anything.
You're stupid. Why can't you just be normal like everybody else? When you grow up with those kinds of messages, you begin to believe them. Even if you've done well in life, deep down, that old voice creeps in.
You start second-guessing your memory, your worth, your decisions, everything. Sometimes this self-doubt is fueled by people who didn't know any better. Maybe your achievements were ignored or picked apart.
Like in my case, if I got 99% on a math test, my dad always asked, what happened to the 1%? Not just once, but every time. And eventually, it didn't feel like a joke. It felt like 99% wasn't good enough.
Translated when I was a kid to, I am not good enough unless I am perfect. Other times, it's about control. If you grew up with someone who set unrealistic standards or constantly shifted the goalposts, you probably developed perfectionism.
Not because you're overly ambitious, but because you were trying to earn love or avoid rejection. And don't even get me started on self-doubt and gaslighting. When someone makes you question your memory, your perception, or your feelings, that kind of manipulation gets into your head and makes you doubt everything, even when you're right.
So how do we start healing from all this? Let me share with you nine ways that are helping me and can help you to overcome self-doubt and start to build the confidence you deserve. Number one, recognize the root. The first step is to understand that your self-doubt didn't come from nowhere.
It was planted, often by someone who didn't know how to support or love you properly. This doubt is not a reflection of your ability. It's a reflection of their failure to build you up.
And number two, focus on progress, not perfection. You don't have to get it all right the first time. Growth comes from trying, learning, and messing up sometimes.
Celebrate your wins. Give yourself credit. You're showing up, and that's brave.
Surround yourself with people who lift you up. Supportive people are like mirrors. They reflect back the truth of who you are when you can't see it in yourself.
Spend time with those who remind you of your strengths and believe in your potential. Four, set realistic goals. Break big tasks into small, doable steps.
When you complete even one little thing, it begins to rewire your brain. See, I can do hard things, and that matters more than you know. Practice self-compassion.
Talk to yourself the way you would talk to a friend. Be gentle. When you mess up, don't say, I'm so stupid.
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Say, huh, that didn't go as I planned, but I'm still learning. Six, challenge the old voice. You know that inner voice that says, I'll never be good enough.
Start questioning it. Ask yourself, is this true, or is this an echo from my past? Replace it with something real and kind. I am learning, or I am enough right now.
Rewriting your internal script takes time, but it works. Seven, set boundaries with people who tear you down. Distance yourself from toxic voices, even if they're family.
You are allowed to protect your inner peace. You're allowed to say, I'm not available for that kind of energy anymore. Eight, get help if you need it.
Therapy has been one of the most powerful tools in my healing journey. A good therapist can help you unpack the damage, build new beliefs, and find your strength again. And if therapy isn't an option right now, find safe people you can talk to.
You don't have to do this alone. And number nine, embrace a growth mindset. Remind yourself, you are not stuck.
You can grow, change, and learn. Just because you felt like this for years, doesn't mean you have to carry it into the future. Self-doubt doesn't have to be your story.
You get to write a new one. Now, if you're a parent like me, here's something important to think about. How can we help our kids overcome self-doubt too? Here's what I've learned.
Model confidence, even when you're unsure. Let them see you try, fail, and try again. Praise their effort, not just their outcomes.
Instead of saying, you're so smart, say, I'm proud of how hard you work. Make room for their mistakes. Teach your kids that failure is a stepping stone, not a stopping point.
Avoid comparisons. Remind them that they're on their own path. Their worth isn't based on how they measure up to others.
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And foster independence. Let them make choices and solve problems. Every time they succeed, they build belief in themselves.
In Finding Lily's Inner Magic, my children's book, Lily says, mistakes help me learn and grow. That's the kind of message we all need, no matter how old we are. So let me leave you with this.
Self-doubt might have followed you for years. It may have even become part of your inner dialogue. But it's not the truth.
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It's not your identity. And it doesn't get to decide your future. You are capable.
You are worthy. You are not broken. You are becoming.
Let's break the cycle for ourselves and for the kids watching us figure it out. So whether you're standing up for yourself, having an honest conversation, or working through a tough moment with someone, remember, you're building positive relationships one skill at a time. And don't just learn these skills, live them.
That's when the magic happens. If this episode has motivated you, hit follow for more life lessons from Lessons for Life with Grandma Kate. And if no one has told you lately, everything will be okay.
Tomorrow is a new day. And with it comes new hope. As I conclude this episode, I must state that this podcast is designed solely for educational and entertainment purposes.
While I bring my experience as a parent and grandparent, it's essential that you know, I am not a licensed therapist. This podcast is not a substitute for professional advice from a physician, professional coach, psychotherapist, or other qualified professional. Got it? Awesome.
Until next time, what is one thing you are grateful for?
(Transcribed by TurboScribe.ai. Go Unlimited to remove this message.)
