(Transcribed by TurboScribe.ai. Go Unlimited to remove this message.)
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Hey, can I ask you something? Have you ever felt disrespected by someone in your family but didn't say anything because you didn't want to upset them or cause drama? Maybe you made excuses for them. You told yourself, oh they're probably just busy or they didn't mean it, but deep down you felt hurt and even a little angry. I've been there too.
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Just last week, I hit my limit in a business situation. I had been promised something by a certain date and when that date came and went with no update, I started making excuses for them. Maybe they were sick.
Maybe something happened. Maybe I just needed to be a little more patient, but that didn't change how I felt. I was annoyed, frustrated and honestly disrespected.
Two full weeks went by with no communication and what really got to me wasn't just the delay. It was that there was no consequences. I needed to say something, so I wrote an assertive email.
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I wasn't mean and I didn't attack the person. I simply explained what I needed and what wasn't okay. And guess what? They responded with a new schedule and gave me exact dates with a little flexibility.
It wasn't perfect, but it was something. Now they're being held accountable and if they don't follow through this time, I have clarity about what I'll do next. I'm allowing them to rebuild trust, but I'm not ignoring what happened.
This experience reminded me of something Brene Brown once said, compassionate people are boundaries people. And if we really want to be kind, supportive and loving, we have to be honest about what we need. That means setting boundaries and holding people accountable for their actions.
Welcome to the Lessons for Life with Grandma Kate Podcast. Each week I share stories, reflections and gentle guidance to help you navigate life's relationships, especially the ones that start with yourself. I discuss topics such as learning to say no when something doesn't feel right, finding your voice and working through everyday conflicts with kindness and courage.
These aren't just skills. They're the building blocks of self-esteem and can help you live with more clarity, confidence and heart. New episodes drop every Thursday, so hit that subscribe button and join me on this journey.
And hey, if something here speaks to you, leaving a quick review helps others find it too. Like a lighthouse steady and strong, let's all shine a little brighter today. Now I know setting boundaries can feel scary, especially with family, especially when you've spent your whole life keeping the peace or being the easy one.
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But here's the truth. When we don't set boundaries, we're actually teaching people that it's okay to hurt us because nothing will happen if they do. Let me give you a simple example.
Imagine you've had a long, hard day. You still make the effort to cook a healthy dinner. You call your kids to come eat, but they're glued to their phones or the TV.
You let it slide. Maybe you say nothing. Or maybe you say it nicely, but they keep ignoring you.
Over time, this becomes a pattern. And if you don't address it, what are you teaching your kids? That it's okay to ignore you? That your time and effort don't matter? But setting a boundary isn't about yelling or being mean. It's about calmly and clearly saying, dinner is ready now.
If you're not at the table in five minutes, I'll pack your plate and you can eat it later. No anger, just action. That's accountability.
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And here's something I've had to learn the hard way. Boundaries are not about controlling others. They're about protecting your peace.
You can be kind and still say, that's not okay with me. You can be understanding and still say, this needs to change. Now let's clear up something important.
There's a difference between a boundary and a rule. A rule is usually set by someone in charge and applies to everyone. No questions asked.
For example, no screens after 8 p.m. A boundary, on the other hand, is personal. It's about what you need to feel respected and safe. A boundary might sound like, I need you to turn off your screens by 8, so we can have some quiet time before bed.
If you have homework left, you'll need to finish that first. See the difference? A rule tells. A boundary communicates.
Boundaries give space for discussion and teach responsibilities. Rules often feel rigid and can lead to power struggles, especially with kids. Now if you're a parent, this part is especially important.
Our children learn how to treat others and how to let others treat them by watching us. That means how we set boundaries with others and how we respond when our boundaries are crossed teaches them what's normal. So how do we teach our kids about healthy boundaries? Let me share five strategies that have helped me and many other parents.
Number one, be clear and consistent. Let your kids know what you expect and follow through. For example, if bedtime is 8 30 on school nights, stick to it.
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Or if screen time ends after homework, make that a firm family agreement. And number two, model respectful behavior. Kids watch everything.
Use respectful language when you're setting limits, even with your partner. You can say things like, I need some quiet time right now. Or, I'm not okay with that.
Also, you can show your kids respect by knocking on their door before entering their room. And number three, encourage open dialogue. Let your kids ask questions about your boundaries.
You don't have to explain everything, but helping them understand why makes a big difference. Even better, invite them to set their own boundaries too. Number four, teach consequences, not punishment.
If your child forgets their lunch, let them experience that natural consequence. Or if they break a toy, explain they won't get a new one right away. This teaches responsibility without shaming them.
And number five, empower them to speak up. Teach your kids that it's okay to say no. If they don't want a hug from someone, they shouldn't feel forced.
They can offer a handshake or just a wave. Here's the bigger picture. Boundaries are not just about keeping order in the house.
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They're about raising kids who know their worth, who trust their instincts, who respect others, and expect the same in return. And that starts with us. We don't need to yell.
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We don't need to beg. We just need to be clear, consistent, and calm. Because setting boundaries isn't rejection.
It's respect for ourselves and for the people we care about. So today, I want you to ask yourself, where am I letting things slide that are actually hurting me? Where have I been afraid to speak up, even though something needs to change? And what's one small boundary I can set this week to start honoring myself again? You deserve to be heard. You deserve to feel respected.
And it's okay to say no more. Enough is enough. So whether you're standing up for yourself, having an honest conversation, or working through a tough moment with someone, remember you're building positive relationships one skill at a time.
And don't just learn these skills, live them. That's when the magic happens. If this episode has motivated you, hit follow for more life lessons from Lessons for Life with Grandma Kate.
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And if no one has told you lately, everything will be okay. Tomorrow is a new day and with it comes new hope. There is always time to rewrite your family story.
Break free from patterns that no longer serve you and create a home filled with love, understanding, and unwavering support. I'm here to guide you every step of the way. As I conclude this episode, I must state that this podcast is designed solely for educational and entertainment purposes.
While I bring my experience as a parent and grandparent, it's essential that you know I am not a licensed therapist. This podcast is not a substitute for professional advice from a physician, professional coach, psychotherapist, or other qualified professional. Got it? Awesome.
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Until next time, what is one thing you are grateful for?
(Transcribed by TurboScribe.ai. Go Unlimited to remove this message.)
