(Transcribed by TurboScribe.ai. Go Unlimited to remove this message.)
(0:00 - 0:57)
Hey, how are you doing today? Let me guess. You're fine. You're maybe tired, busy.
Oh, but you're good. Because that's what we always say, right? Even when we're overwhelmed, even when we're one deep sigh away from losing it. But sure, nothing says crushing it at life like stopping to name your feelings, right? Because when you're busy chasing goals, who has time to sit with emotions or breathe through frustration? It sounds silly until the emotions you've been ignoring start making the decisions for you.
You can organize your calendar, ace your meetings, and still be emotionally bankrupt. That's not success. That's survival.
(0:57 - 1:41)
If you can't name what you feel, if you confuse anger with shame, if your go-to move is to shut down or blow up, then emotions aren't the problem. Your emotional avoidance is, I'm going to say that again, your emotional avoidance is. What I just said might make you feel uncomfortable.
It's supposed to because nothing changes until you do the brave thing. Face what's happening on the inside. Most people believe that success stems from talent, hard work, or making the right choices.
(1:42 - 4:35)
However, there's something even more powerful that's often overlooked. Emotional health. If you don't understand your feelings or if they control you instead of the other way around, they can quietly sabotage your life, hurt your relationships, and cause illnesses.
That's why learning how to work with your emotions is one of the most essential steps toward living a successful, peaceful, and confident life. Welcome to the Lessons for Life with Grandma Kate podcast. Each week, I share stories, reflections, and gentle guidance to help you navigate life's relationships, especially the ones that start with yourself.
I'll discuss topics such as learning to say no when something doesn't feel right, finding your voice, and working through everyday conflicts with kindness and courage. These aren't just skills. They're the building blocks of self-esteem and can help you live with more clarity, confidence, and heart.
New episodes drop every Thursday, so hit that subscribe button and join me on this journey. And hey, if something here speaks to you, leaving a quick review helps others to find it. Like a lighthouse steady and strong, let's shine a little brighter today.
Many of us grew up hearing messages like, don't cry, stop being mad, or get over it, you're fine. These phrases taught us how to hide how we feel. This type of emotional training is often referred to as controlling our emotions, not managing them.
It usually means pretending we're okay when we're not, or pushing our feelings deep down instead of dealing with them. But just because we hide our emotions doesn't mean they disappear. What happens is they end up manifesting in other ways, such as illnesses, feeling drained, or avoiding decisions.
Emotional health begins with understanding. When you can name your feelings and know where they're coming from, you can make better life choices, like setting healthy boundaries, speaking up assertively, or walking away from conflict instead of fueling it. This kind of emotional strength leads to stronger relationships and a more successful life.
(4:36 - 5:08)
Emotions are messages from inside of us. They show up in our bodies and minds to help us know what matters, what hurts, and what makes us feel safe and what doesn't. For example, anger might show up when someone has crossed a line.
Fear helps protect us when we feel unsafe. Joy tells us something is right or exciting. And sadness helps us process loss or disappointment.
(5:08 - 5:21)
Emotions are not problems. They are signals that help guide us through life. And when we ignore those signals or pretend they don't matter, it's like disengaging a smoke alarm.
(5:22 - 5:37)
We miss something life's threatening. Understanding our emotions help us navigate our everyday lives. Now, it's important to know that managing emotions is not the same as controlling them.
(5:38 - 6:38)
Controlling emotions typically involves suppressing or repressing them. For example, you might smile when you're outraged or say I'm fine when you're not. However, when we control our emotions in that way, they don't go away.
Instead, they often build up and express themselves in unhealthy ways later. Now, managing our emotions, on the other hand, means recognizing how we feel, acknowledging it, and choosing a response that is assertive. Emotions are like waves.
You can't stop them from coming, but you can learn how to ride them. If you try to fight the wave or pretend it's not there, it'll knock you down. But if you stay steady and let it pass, you stay upright and stronger for it.
(6:38 - 6:49)
One of the challenging parts of emotional health is figuring out what we're feeling. You might say, I feel bad. But that could mean so many different things.
(6:50 - 7:04)
Instead, maybe what you're really feeling is rejected. Or maybe you're embarrassed, disrespected, or lonely. But you just don't have the words to explain it.
(7:05 - 7:58)
That's why tools like the Emotion Wheel can be so helpful. While different versions of the Emotion Wheel exist, most begin with a small set of core emotions, basic feelings that all humans experience. These emotions include joy, anger, fear, sadness, surprise, and disgust.
From there, the wheel expands outward into more specific emotions that fall under each category. For example, under anger, you might find words like frustrated, irritated, or resentful. Under sadness, you might see feelings like lonely, disappointed, or grease-stricken.
(7:59 - 9:10)
The further out you go, the more precise the language becomes. Being able to move beyond general words like mad or sad and identify exactly what you're feeling helps you understand your emotional needs. And the best part? You can respond to them in healthier, more intentional ways.
Here's an example. You might think you're angry, but after looking at the Emotion Wheel, you realize you feel ignored or unimportant. Now that changes how you respond.
Because instead of yelling, you try speaking up assertively or setting a boundary. This kind of emotional awareness enables us to act in ways that build relationships rather than conflict. The better we can name our emotions, the more clearly we can understand what we need.
I've often been told I wear my heart on my sleeve. If I'm happy, everyone knows it. And if I'm upset, oh, you'll see it all over my face.
(9:11 - 14:10)
Some people think wearing your heart on your sleeve is a bad thing and that instead we should always stay calm, smile, and never show what we feel. But is that really what emotional health looks like? Wearing your heart on your sleeve means you're emotionally honest. People don't have to guess how you're feeling.
That's not a weakness. That's a form of truth-telling. Still, there's a difference between being emotionally honest and letting your emotions run the show, expressing how you feel and exploding without thinking.
Being emotionally honest means acknowledging your feelings, remaining present with them, and choosing how to respond. That's not being overly emotional. That's being aware.
And that is a strength. Now, are we supposed to be happy all the time? In today's world, there's a lot of pressure to just be happy. We see it on social media, in self-help books, and even in the way we talk to each other.
But the truth is, no one feels happy all the time. And we're not supposed to. Pretending to be happy when we're not can make us feel worse.
Even spiritual teachers such as the Buddha never said that happiness is the ultimate goal. Buddha taught that life includes pain, loss, and difficulty. But he also taught that we can learn to sip with our emotions without being overwhelmed by them.
Through mindfulness and compassion, we can acknowledge our feelings, breathe through them, and allow them to pass without judgment. We don't have to fake a smile. We can find peace even when we're angry, scared, or sad by staying honest, calm, and kind to ourselves.
Most of us struggle with emotions because we were never taught how to work with them. We were told to be strong, tough it out, or stop being so sensitive. But children don't need fewer feelings.
They need better tools to understand the ones they already have. That begins with teaching them the language of emotions. When children can name what they're feeling, whether it's frustrated, jealous, or disappointed, they don't have to act it out through temper tantrums, hitting, or shutting down.
Instead, they can start to understand what's going on inside and begin to handle those feelings in a healthier way. That gives them a sense of control and shows them that their feelings are valid and manageable. That emotional awareness becomes the foundation for solving problems, building empathy, and learning to calm down without shame or fear.
I was talking to a grandparent the other day, and she shared something that truly inspired me. We were chatting about how her daughter is parenting differently than she did. And with a smile, she told me that her daughter has been teaching her 20-month-old to self-regulate.
Yes, at just under two years old, whenever this grandchild is upset, she said, he takes three deep breaths without even being told. Now, that is self-regulation. I nearly teared up.
That's the power of emotional teaching. Now, imagine if this wasn't just happening at home. Imagine if schools made emotional literacy just as critical as reading and math.
What if every classroom made space to talk about feelings, practice deep breathing, and teach children how to recognize what's happening inside of them before it turns into an outburst or shutdown? We ask kids to use your words, but what if we taught them the words that matter most? If parents, grandparents, and teachers worked together to raise emotional aware children, we wouldn't just have calmer classrooms. We would also have happier, more resilient children. We'd be raising a generation of kids who are kind, confident, and emotionally strong.
(14:11 - 14:19)
There is no right or wrong way to feel. Emotions aren't good or bad. They're just signals.
(14:20 - 17:11)
What matters is what we do after the feeling shows up. Do we even notice it? Do we act in a way that helps the situation or makes it worse by creating conflict? Emotional health isn't about avoiding big feelings. It's about learning to respond to them in healthy, thoughtful ways.
If you feel things deeply, that's not a problem. If you wear your heart on your sleeve, it just means you care and that's something to be proud of. The real work is learning how to express those feelings clearly and kindly, both to yourself and others.
When you take the time to understand your emotions, name them, and manage them in healthy ways, you begin to build the kind of emotional health that leads to confidence, peace, and real success. And along the way, you're setting an example not only for your children but for everyone you come into contact with, showing them how you handle life, especially in the hardest moments. Whether you're standing up for yourself, having an honest conversation, or working through a tough moment with someone, remember you're building positive relationships one skill at a time.
And don't just learn these skills, live them. That's when the magic happens. If this episode has motivated you, hit follow for more life lessons from Lessons for Life with Grandma Kate.
And if no one has told you lately, everything will be okay. Tomorrow is a new day and with it comes new hope. There is always time to rewrite your family story, break free from patterns that no longer serve you, and create a home filled with love, understanding, and unwavering support.
I'm here to guide you every step of the way. As I conclude this episode, I must state that this podcast is designed solely for educational and entertainment purposes. While I bring my experience as a parent and grandparent, it's essential that you know I am not a licensed therapist.
This podcast is not a substitute for professional advice from a physician, professional coach, psychotherapist, or other qualified professional. Got it? Awesome! Until next time, what is one thing you are grateful for?
(Transcribed by TurboScribe.ai. Go Unlimited to remove this message.)
