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Have you ever noticed how setting a boundary can sometimes look messy on the outside, even if it's the healthiest choice you can make? Just a few nights ago, during an appearance on Jimmy Kimmel's show, political spokesperson Carolyn Leavitt made headlines when she walked off stage after feeling disrespected during her interview. Whether you agree with her views or not, the moment raised an important question. What does it look like when someone sets a boundary in real time? And why does it sometimes feel uncomfortable for everyone watching? Boundaries aren't always neat.
They're not always polite. But they are essential for protecting our energy, our self-worth, and our relationships. Because here's the truth.
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Without clear boundaries, family relationships suffer, and so does our sense of self-worth. That's why I created the Boundary Method, a simple, memorable way to stay grounded, protect your inner peace, and respond with confidence, even when life gets messy. As brain coach Jim Quick says, what we remember, we can use.
And when it comes to parenting, nothing is more important. In the rush of daily life, when emotions run high, and old habits kick in, it's easy to forget the tools we need most. That's why I believe the Boundary Method isn't just helpful, it's essential.
It gives us the words, the confidence, and the clarity to protect our inner peace and build deeper, more respectful connections at home. And here's the deeper truth. Every time we model healthy boundaries for our children, we take one more step toward breaking the cycle of negative parenting.
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Awareness is the first step. Action is the next. The Boundary Method isn't just a strategy.
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It's a way of building stronger, healthier family relationships from the inside out. Every letter in the word Boundary represents a core truth that, when practiced, helps both adults and children stand tall, speak clearly, and love with respect. This is the Lessons for Life with Grandma Kate Podcast.
Each week I explore my three pillars for positive relationships, which are setting boundaries, speaking assertively, and resolving conflicts to help build your self-esteem so you can step into your power and live life on your terms. New episodes drop every Thursday, so hit that subscribe button and let's grow together. And if you're loving the podcast, a quick review helps more people find it.
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Like a lighthouse, steady and strong, let's shine a little brighter today. Now, here's how each of the pieces fit together. B. Believe you are worthy.
Every boundary begins with self-worth. You matter. Your feelings, your time, your space, all of it is valuable.
Here's an example. During a conversation, someone kept interrupting me before I could finish my thoughts. In the past, I laughed it off and let them take over.
But I remembered, my voice matters too. According to Jefferson Fisher, an expert in conversations, there are three steps you can take when someone interrupts you. Fisher says the first step is to let them interrupt you.
Letting them interrupt you serves two purposes. The first is that you come across as a more mature and reasonable person. The second is that it allows the other person to get all their impulsive thoughts out.
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Step two is to use their name at a normal level to stop the interruption. If they continue, then repeat their name, increasing your volume each time they interrupt. Step three is to correct the behavior by using I statements, which is assertive communication, instead of you statements.
A you statement is you're interrupting me. And an I statement sounds like I will listen to you once I am finished. These three steps work because they expose the behavior of the person interrupting you.
Oh, own your feelings. Boundaries protect your emotional energy. You're allowed to feel what you feel.
You don't have to explain or justify. The other day, I was talking to someone who made a joke about my children's books that hurt. Again, in the past, I would have ignored the comment and continued to hold resentment towards the person.
But I'm learning there's a better way to respond. Now, I give a long pause to let their words hang there. Then, if nothing is said further, I repeat back to them what they just said.
This is so they can hear what they just said to me. This either adds to the fuel or gives the other person a chance to clear up any misunderstandings. The key is to breathe.
I have learned how vital those breaths can be to calm my nervous system so I don't respond with anger or emotion. Then, if I need to, I will put a boundary in place. Now, you is understand your limits.
Tired? Overwhelmed? Uncomfortable? Those signals matter. Listen to your body and heart. They're trying to help you.
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The other day, a friend of mine was sharing that at a family gathering, a two-year-old was running through the house, laughing as he chased his cousin. It was loud, yes, but it was innocent, joyful play. Suddenly, one of the adults grabbed him roughly by the and shouted at him to stop.
My friend shared that the room went quiet and no one said anything. In that moment, a healthy boundary would have sounded like, he's only two. If we need the kids to slow down, we can talk to them gently.
They're still learning. Understanding your limits means noticing when your values are being crossed and having the courage to step in with calm clarity, not confrontation. Because if we don't speak up, we become part of the silence that teaches kids their feelings and bodies don't matter.
Boundaries aren't just about protecting our peace. Sometimes, they're about protecting the most vulnerable people in the room. And N, name what you need using I statements.
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Be clear and kind. Boundaries aren't about control. They're about assertive communication.
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Say what you mean and mean what you say using I statements. One evening, I opened up to my husband about something I had been pouring my heart into. Something that deeply mattered to me.
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Instead of listening, he dismissed it with, why are you even bothering with that? It's not a big deal. In the past, I would have shut down and kept my hurt feelings to myself. But remembering how to talk assertively, I named what I needed.
I paused and said using my I statements, when I share something important to me, I need you to listen and respect it. Even if you don't understand it, it matters to me and I want to feel heard. It wasn't about arguing or trying to change his opinion.
It was about communicating calmly and confidently that my voice and my feelings deserve to be respected. Naming what you need with a spouse isn't always easy. But it's one of the most powerful ways to protect your self-worth and strengthen family relationships.
D. Decide what's okay and what's not. You get to decide the rules for your life. Whether it's how you're spoken to or how you spend your time.
You decide. What are your thoughts on people dropping by unexpectedly? I don't like it. I have been caught too many times when I'm still in my pajamas or the middle of something.
At first, I didn't say anything, especially since some members of my family think it's okay. But I realized it wasn't okay for me. So I decided that I need people to call first and I gently told the people who drop in unexpectedly to do the same.
Setting that expectation protected my space without damaging the friendship. And A. Act with confidence. You don't need to over explain or apologize for having boundaries.
A quiet no is enough. You are enough. Years ago, I remember my husband and I were at a bank appointment and we were discussing some financial matters with the bank manager.
Even though we were both sitting there, the manager directed most of the information toward my husband. And when he did address me, he used an overly simplified tone as if I couldn't possibly understand financial terms. Back then, I smiled politely or said nothing to avoid making waves.
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But now, I have learned to act with calm confidence. Jefferson Fisher explains that when someone belittles, patronizes, or speaks condescendingly to you, try these steps. Ask them to repeat what they just said.
By doing this, it takes the fun out of their words and actions and puts the spotlight on them. Then try saying, I need you to say that again. You can also ask a question of outcome, such as, was that supposed to make me feel small? Lastly, reply with silence.
No matter what their answer is, let your silence be your reply. And R, respect other people's boundaries. The golden rule of boundaries is model what you teach.
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Just as we expect others to honor our limits, we must honor theirs, even if we don't always agree with them. Sometimes I notice that a grandchild is feeling standoffish and doesn't want a hug. So, instead of forcing myself on them, I respect their physical boundary and don't take it personally because I can be the same.
Sometimes I need my physical space and don't want to be touched or hugged. Respecting their boundary teaches them their body belongs to them and hugs don't measure that love. And Y, yes to yourself.
You hold the key. Setting boundaries isn't about saying no to others. It's about saying a bold yes to your well-being, your time, your energy, and your values.
When you say yes to yourself, you open the door to healthier family relationships and a life lived with confidence and respect. When I'm asked to volunteer for yet another event, even though my schedule is already packed, I now pause. I check in with myself and I say, I'm honored you asked, but I need to say no this time.
I'm not rejecting them. I'm saying yes to my inner peace and that makes all the difference. Boundaries aren't walls.
They're doors we choose to open and close with care. They protect what's sacred, our inner peace, our values, our relationships, and our self-respect. When we model healthy boundaries calmly, clearly, and consistently, we teach our children and remind ourselves that we are worthy of love, respect, and kindness, even when it's uncomfortable, even when it means standing alone for a moment.
So remember, be, believe you are worthy, O, own your feelings, U, understand your limits, N, name what you need using I statements, D, decide what is okay and what is not, A, act with confidence, R, respect other people's boundaries, and Y, yes to yourself. Whether you're setting a new boundary, speaking assertively, or resolving a conflict, remember you're building positive relationships one skill at a time. Don't just learn these skills, live them.
That's when the magic happens. If this episode has motivated you, hit follow for more life lessons from Lessons for Life with Grandma Kate. And if no one has told you lately, everything will be okay.
Tomorrow is a new day, and with it comes new hope. There is always time to rewrite your family story, break free from patterns that no longer serve you, and create a home filled with love, understanding, and unwavering support. I'm here to guide you every step of the way.
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As I conclude this episode, I must state that this podcast is designed solely for educational and entertainment purposes. While I bring my experience as a parent and grandparent, it's essential that you know, I am not a licensed therapist. This podcast is not a substitute for professional advice from a physician, professional coach, psychotherapist, or other qualified professional.
Got it? Awesome. Until next time, what is one thing you are grateful for?
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