(Transcribed by TurboScribe.ai. Go Unlimited to remove this message.)
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What if the people who were supposed to love and support you were actually holding you back? Family relationships can sometimes feel like an anchor meant to keep you grounded but weigh you down instead. You want to build confidence, strengthen your self-worth, and reclaim your self-esteem but the past keeps pulling you under. You keep telling yourself to let go but how do you release something that's shaped who you are? Acceptance isn't about excusing the past, it's about unhooking the weight, rising above it and stepping into the person you are meant to be.
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Most of us have heard the serenity prayer before, God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. Although it's often associated with Alcoholics Anonymous, it's message is universal. It's about learning to let go, to stop fighting battles we can't win, and to focus on what we can control, ourselves.
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Acceptance has been one of my life's most challenging but essential life lessons. Last week I shared how growing up in an emotionally unstable home led to my low self-worth and self-esteem. I spent years hoping my mother would change, that she would finally treat me like a mother should treat her daughter.
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But no matter how much I changed myself to please her, nothing worked. Self-doubt consumed me and I constantly questioned my instincts after my dad shut them down when I was about 10 years old. But what I didn't talk about last week was my anger.
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When I finally put the pieces together and realized my mother was a toxic person, possibly a narcissist, it hit me hard. To the outside world, my mom was warm, loving, and devoted. A church-going woman everyone adored.
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But behind closed doors, she was someone entirely different. That contradiction confused me for years. How could one person be so two-faced? It wasn't until I started researching for my podcast episodes that I saw the truth.
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My mother passed away four years ago, giving me time to step back and see my family life for what it was. And when I did, I was furious. My siblings have their version of events, but this is my story.
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I went through the stages of grief, denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and finally acceptance. Accepting my past was one of the hardest things I've ever done. It was painful to realize that people like my mom existed.
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People who are kind to the outside world, but manipulative and deceitful to their own family. The signs all pointed to a narcissist. It hurt deeply.
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All I wanted was to be loved and respected for who I was, not have my love and kindness used against me. To this day, I still can't bring myself to display pictures of my mother in my home, and that's okay. I no longer dwell on what could have been, and I no longer see myself as a victim.
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How people treat me is a reflection of them, not me. I choose to live by my values, compassion, integrity, and kindness. I still feel moments of anger and regret, but they are starting to pass more quickly.
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Now I am using my experiences to help others, especially children. And one way to prevent that is by shining a light for parents and helping them see the way forward. This is the Lessons for Life with Grandma Kate podcast that is all about real talk and practical tips for building self-esteem, confidence, and self-worth, so you can step into your power and live life on your terms.
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New episodes drop every Thursday, so hit that subscribe button and let's grow together. And if you're loving the show, a quick review helps more people find it. Today I'm tackling acceptance.
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Like a lighthouse, steady and strong, let's shine a little brighter today. Acceptance isn't about giving up or pretending something didn't hurt. It's about seeing things as they are and deciding what to do next.
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Psychologists define acceptance as fully recognizing a situation without trying to deny, avoid, or change it. Acceptance doesn't mean we approve of what happened. It means we stop fighting reality.
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The first line of the Serenity Prayer is, Accept the things I cannot change. Some things in life are beyond our control. No amount of wishing, hoping, or trying will change them.
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Acceptance can be a hard truth to swallow, but it's also the first step towards peace. Some family relationships can feel like an anchor, weighing you down and keeping you stuck in the past. Instead of moving forward, you feel pulled back by old wounds, expectations, or unresolved pain.
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Letting go doesn't always mean cutting ties. It means freeing yourself from the weight of resentment. Here are a few ways to release that anchor and move on with your life.
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Try journaling. Write out your feelings to process them. Journaling has been extremely helpful for me.
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Sometimes, I need to write pages, and sometimes, I only write a paragraph. Try therapy or support groups. Talking to a professional or people who understand can be incredibly healing.
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There are many online support groups. And also, try reframing your thoughts. Instead of thinking, this shouldn't have happened to me, shift to, this happened, but I am choosing to grow from it.
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Reframing my thoughts is a new practice for me, which has helped me shift my mindset and build my confidence and self-worth. Many people confuse acceptance with forgiveness. Acceptance means recognizing reality, while forgiveness is about releasing anger towards someone.
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You can accept something without forgiving the person who caused it. And if forgiveness ever comes, it happens on your terms, when you are ready. The second line of the serenity prayer, have the courage to change what I can.
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While I can't change my past, I can change how I live today. I can choose kindness, integrity, and compassion. I can build a life where I love and respect myself.
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This part of the prayer reminds me that change is possible, but takes courage. It's easier to stay angry. We play old hurts and wait for someone else to fix things.
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But real change happens when we take control of our actions. Try starting the day with an affirmation like, I am worthy of love and respect. Or make one decision for yourself daily.
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Even something as simple as choosing what to eat or wear, without doubt, builds confidence. And celebrate your small wins. If you stand up for yourself, say no to something unhealthy, or recognize your growth, take a moment to acknowledge it.
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And if your family didn't have boundaries while you were growing up, setting them now can feel uncomfortable. I know this because I lived it. I grew up in a home where boundaries didn't exist.
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I didn't learn how to say no or protect my peace. I didn't even know I could. Here are a few ways to start.
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Identify what makes you uncomfortable. Pay attention to situations that leave you feeling drained or disrespected. Communicate your boundaries.
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Keep it simple. I'm not comfortable discussing this. Enforce it without guilt.
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People are going to push back, but that's their issue, not yours. At first, setting boundaries felt impossible. I worried about upsetting people, being seen as difficult, or losing relationships.
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But I realized that without boundaries, I was losing myself. That's why I created my 7 Day Free Setting Boundaries Challenge to help you do what I wish someone had taught me sooner. In just one week, you'll learn how to recognize unhealthy patterns, set limits with confidence, and finally stop feeling guilty for protecting your well-being.
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This challenge is for you if you've ever struggled with setting boundaries. You can find it on my website at LessonsForLifeWithGrandmaKate.com. And the third line of the Serenity Prayer? And the wisdom to know the difference. This line of the prayer is the hardest.
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How do we know what we can change and what we can't? Confucius described three ways to gain wisdom. First, reflection. Think deeply about your experiences.
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Second, imitation. Learn from those who have walked the path before you. And third, experience.
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Live through struggles and grow from them. Here are some signs you're holding on to something you can't change. You keep replaying a situation over and over in your head.
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You feel exhausted from trying to fix someone else. And third, you feel guilty over something out of your control. Resilience isn't about avoiding pain, but overcoming it and becoming stronger.
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Learning from the past helps prevent repeating the same patterns. The more we grow, the more we recognize what's worth our energy and what isn't. Healing isn't linear.
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Some days, we feel strong. Others, the past pulls us down. That's why self-compassion is essential.
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Here are some ways to be kind to yourself during the healing process. Speak to yourself like you would a friend. If you wouldn't criticize a friend for struggling, don't criticize yourself.
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And allow yourself to grieve. Letting go of expectations and past hurts is painful. So give yourself grace.
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Try some positive affirmations and positive self-talk. Words shape our reality. Instead of saying, I'm broken, try, I am healing.
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Instead of, I just can't do this, try, I am learning. The serenity prayer isn't just words. It's a mindset shift.
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Try this morning and evening routine for practicing acceptance. In the morning, read or recite the serenity prayer, reminding yourself what you can and can't control. Then in the evening, reflect on one thing you accepted today and one thing you took action on.
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Looking back, I see how my struggles shaped me. They made me more aware, compassionate, and determined to help others, especially children. I can't change my past, but I can use it to make a difference.
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For years, my family relationships felt like that anchor I discussed earlier, weighing me down. I felt like I was drowning, barely keeping my head above water, struggling against a weight I didn't know how to release. No matter how hard I tried, the past kept pulling me under.
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Now, my anger and regret about my upbringing don't control me as much. The serenity prayer reminds me daily that true power lies in acceptance, courage, and wisdom. That's when I learn the truth.
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Letting go doesn't mean forgetting, and acceptance doesn't mean approval. It means loosening my grip on the pain, releasing the anchor, and finally allowing myself to feel free. Let's rise to embrace the present, not drown in the weight of our past.
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Next week on the Lessons for Life with Grandma Kay podcast, I'm having a guest, Brian Seth Hurst, who wrote the book, Whole, W-H-O-L-E. And we're going to discuss his book, his workbook, and his audio book. So join me next week when I interview Brian Seth Hurst.
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There is always time to rewrite your family story, break free from patterns that no longer serve you, and create a home filled with love, understanding, and unwavering support. I'm here to guide you every step of the way. As I conclude this episode, I must state that this podcast is designed solely for educational and entertainment purposes.
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While I bring my experience as a parent and grandparent, it's essential that you know I am not a licensed therapist. This podcast is not a substitute for professional advice from a physician, professional coach, psychotherapist, or other qualified professional. Got it? Awesome.
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Until next time, what is one thing you are grateful for?
(Transcribed by TurboScribe.ai. Go Unlimited to remove this message.)
