How Do I Discipline Myself? Just Stop Being Lazy!

KEY POINTS:

• Self-Discipline Meaning

• Self-Discipline vs. Willpower

• Why Willpower Gets Harder as the Day Goes On - Decision Fatigue

• The Power of Delayed Gratification

• The Role of Values in Self-Discipline

• Resilience: The Backbone of Self-Discipline

• The Power of Self-Discipline

• Helping Kids Develop Self-Discipline

Self-Discipline Meaning

Self-discipline is the ability to make better choices, even when something easier or more fun is tempting. It helps you stay focused on what matters, like completing a work project before watching TV or sticking to a budget instead of splurging on unnecessary items. Self-discipline is something you develop inside yourself to stay on track.

Self-discipline is not about being overly strict or denying yourself joy—it’s about managing your actions and emotions in a way that helps you succeed. It means learning to delay gratification, control impulses, and make thoughtful choices. These skills help you develop resilience, responsibility, and independence, essential for building self-esteem and long-term success.

One of the best ways to think about self-discipline is to compare it to a muscle. Just like muscles get stronger with exercise, self-discipline grows when you practice making better choices. The more you use it, the easier it becomes. However, like any muscle, self-discipline can weaken if not used regularly. That’s why practice and consistency are key.

Self-Discipline vs. Willpower

Now, don’t get self-discipline confused with willpower. Self-discipline and willpower are like two sides of the same coin, but each works differently. Self-discipline is about creating routines and habits that make it easier to stick to goals. Willpower, on the other hand, is about resisting temptation in the moment.

Think about eating healthier. Self-discipline means planning healthy meals in advance and creating a routine that supports better eating habits. When offered a slice of cake at a party, you use willpower and choose to say no.

Willpower is great, but it runs out over time. That’s why having strong self-discipline is so important—it keeps you moving forward even when your willpower is low.

Why Willpower Gets Harder as the Day Goes On - Decision Fatigue

Have you ever noticed that making better choices feels harder at night? That’s because of something called decision fatigue. All day long, your brain makes decisions—big ones, like solving problems at work, and small ones, like what to eat for lunch. The more choices you have to make, the more mentally exhausted your brain becomes. By the end of the day, it’s easier to give in to distractions or bad habits.

Think of yourself as a battery. At the start of your day, you are fully charged. Then, throughout the day, as you make decisions and choices—like focusing at work, following instructions, and resisting distractions your battery drains. By the end of the day, when you are running low, it’s easy to struggle with tasks like sticking to a diet or avoiding distractions. That’s why many successful people, like athletes and business leaders, structure their days to reduce unnecessary decisions. They often eat the same breakfast or wear a similar outfit daily, helping conserve mental energy for more critical tasks. Setting up routines, habits, and structure is key to developing strong self-discipline. These systems take the pressure off willpower and make it easier to do the right thing without exhausting yourself.

The Power of Delayed Gratification

One of the most critical aspects of self-discipline is delayed gratification. Delayed gratification means resisting an immediate reward to receive a greater benefit later. It’s why people save money instead of spending it all at once, why students study instead of watching TV, and why athletes train daily instead of skipping workouts.

An excellent analogy for delayed gratification is planting a seed. You won’t see a tree tomorrow if you plant a seed today. It takes time, patience, and care for that seed to grow into something strong and beneficial. But you'll never see the results if you give up and stop tending to the seed. Self-discipline works the same way—the small, disciplined choices you make today lead to bigger rewards in the future.

The Role of Values in Self-Discipline

Last week, I discussed values and how to determine your core values. Your values are essential because self-discipline is closely tied to values. When you clearly understand what truly matters to you, it becomes easier to practice self-discipline.

For example, if you value health, you’re likelier to stick to your exercise routine and make healthy food choices, even when inconvenient. If you value financial security, you will practice discipline by saving money instead of making impulsive purchases. Your values guide your decisions, making self-discipline feel less like a struggle and more like a natural extension of what’s important to you.

By aligning self-discipline with your values, you create a powerful internal motivation that keeps you on track. Instead of relying on willpower alone, which can fade throughout the day, your values are a strong foundation that makes disciplined choices easier and more automatic.

Resilience: The Backbone of Self-Discipline

Resilience is another crucial aspect of self-discipline. Life is full of setbacks, disappointments, and challenges. The ability to keep pushing forward, even when things get tough, separates those who achieve their goals from those who give up too soon.

Resilience and self-discipline go hand in hand. Without resilience, self-discipline can crumble at the first sign of failure. Consider trying to stick to your fitness routine. You might be disciplined for a few weeks. Still, if you feel discouraged and quit because you missed a workout or don’t see immediate results, resilience helps you stay committed even when progress is slow or obstacles arise.

One way to build resilience is by shifting your mindset. Instead of seeing failure as a reason to quit, see it as a learning opportunity. Each setback is an opportunity to build resilience and learn. Self-disciplined people don’t let challenges derail them—they adapt, adjust, and keep moving forward. By embracing resilience, you make self-discipline a long-term practice rather than a short-term effort.

The Power of Self-Discipline

Self-discipline isn’t just about following rules—it’s about creating the life you want. When you learn self-discipline, you can set and reach your goals, whether learning a new skill, improving productivity, or saving money for something special.

It also helps handle challenging moments. When things don’t go your way—like struggling with a new skill or facing setbacks—self-discipline keeps you from giving up. Instead of quitting, you persist and try again, knowing that hard work pays off.

One of the most significant benefits of self-discipline is that it builds confidence. When you can stick to a goal, resist distractions, and accomplish something meaningful, you begin to believe in yourself. This sense of accomplishment fuels motivation and makes you more willing to take on challenges in the future.

Helping Kids Develop Self-Discipline

Teaching your children self-discipline is one of the best gifts you can give them. It helps them succeed in school, sports, and life in general.

Here are some ways to help your kids develop self-discipline:

1. Start Small – Encourage your kids to focus on small habits, like making their bed each morning or putting away their shoes. Small wins build confidence and motivation.
2. Use Routines – Having a daily schedule takes the pressure off decision-making. Set precise times for homework, chores, and fun activities.
3. Limit Choices—Too many options can be overwhelming. Instead of letting your kids choose from endless possibilities, give them two or three choices.
4. Praise Effort, Not Just Results – When your kids work hard, acknowledge it! Let them know you see their effort, even if they don’t win or get everything right.
5. Teach the Power of “Yet” – If a child says, “I can’t do this,” add the word “yet.” Remind them that skills take time and practice.
6. Be a Role Model. Show kids what self-discipline looks like by following through on your commitments and sticking to healthy habits.

Conclusion

Self-discipline is a skill that helps people succeed in all areas of life. It teaches individuals to focus on their goals, even when things get tough. While willpower might help at the moment, self-discipline keeps progress steady every day.

Teaching self-discipline to your kids is one of the best ways to set them up for success. My children’s book Consistency is Key: Self-Care Tips with Lily and Zach is a great tool to help, as kids often absorb lessons better through stories. It's available on Amazon Canada, the United States, and the United Kingdom, as well as through local bookstores via IngramSpark. Kids often listen more to stories and characters than direct advice from their parents, and this book helps reinforce important self-discipline lessons in a fun and engaging way. By creating routines, setting small goals, and leading by example, you can help your children develop this critical skill. The best part? Once they learn it, they’ll use it for the rest of their lives!

Remember that self-discipline is like a muscle—it takes time and practice to strengthen. With patience, consistency, and the proper guidance, anyone can develop the habits needed to become confident, responsible, and successful.

Change begins with ourselves!

To learn more about Cathy or FREE DOWNLOADABLE RESOURCES, check out Lessons for Life With Gramma Kate

Children’s Books:         Finding Lily’s Inner Magic: A Tale of Building Confidence

                                        Lily’s Journey to Forgiveness: Letting Go of Hurt and Anger

                                        Finding Jack’s Magic Within: A Lesson About Kindness
                                        Consistency is Key: Self-Care Tips with Lily & Zach

Follow Cathy: 

Instagram: - https://www.instagram.com/parenting_youngsters/

Facebook: - https://www.facebook.com/tipsforparentingyoungsters

DISCLAIMER

The Tips for Parenting Youngsters Podcast and content posted by Cathy Barker are presented solely for general information, educational, and entertainment purposes. The use of information on this podcast or materials linked from this podcast or website is at the user’s own risk. It is not intended as a substitute for the advice of a physician, professional coach, psychotherapist, or other qualified professional, diagnosis, or treatment. Users should not disregard or delay in obtaining medical advice for any medical or mental health condition they may have. They should seek the assistance of their healthcare professional for any such conditions.