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Over the last two episodes, we've explored how consistency and persistence shape the path to success, not just for us, but for our kids who are watching us. Today, we take it a step further, diving into the transformative power of self-improvement. In her book, Your Bright Light, Jessica Johnson asks this life-changing question, if you could do anything, what would it be? This reminds us that pursuing our own passions and goals isn't just for us, it's a powerful example for our children.
When we grow into the best versions of ourselves, we naturally become better parents, inspiring our kids to dream big and embrace their own journeys. So grab your favorite beverage, find a comfy spot, and let's dive into today's topic of dreaming big. Welcome to Tips for Parenting Youngsters, a podcast that's committed to your personal growth, enabling you to bring your best self to parenting and foster stronger family relationships.
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It makes a real difference and helps us all grow together. Welcome everybody, and today's guest is Jessica Johnson. She is an entrepreneur, speaker, and fellow author of the book, Your Bright Light, which I happen to have a copyright here.
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I've read it twice myself and absolutely love it. And she's a fellow podcaster of the Bright Life podcast. She is also a good friend and a coach who is the catalyst in helping me to go after my dream of writing children's books.
I am so grateful for that moment. Over the past couple of weeks, I've talked about consistency and persistence from more particularly persistence from Napoleon Hill's chapter in Think and Grow Rich. So I have Jessica here because so much of it is based on our dreams and hopes and goals, which is all about the book that she wrote, Your Bright Life.
Welcome, Jessica. Thank you so much for having me. I'm just, I'm so grateful and so many of the things you said, it's been so fun to watch your journey becoming an author and a podcaster.
And just knowing, I feel like from so early on, like the wisdom you had to share and the passion for it and to see it now out in the world, helping others is just so fun. So thank you for having me. It feels very full circle.
Yeah. And that was such a pivotal moment. And I remember you just asking me, well, I'll tear up again.
What did I want to do? And it was my children's books. And yeah. Anyways, that'll be once you do know what your passion is.
It's amazing the tears just flow or the excitement. And I think it took us both by surprise that day too, because you were, I just remember, I think the question was like, what would you really like to do? And this was something that had just been a burning desire of mine for so long. So what other experiences have you had other than that one in helping someone find their passion? And what is your process? Yeah, well, I think my book and so much of it was born from that question of asking myself that thing of whenever I've been a little bit unclear in a path, I've always come back to the question of if you could do anything, what would you do? If anything was on the table and possible and your life could look like any particular iteration, what would it look like? Because I know our brains are so quick to jump in with what's realistic or what our friends and family may want for us, what our upbringing tells us is possible.
And that's fine. Our brains are always trying to be so helpful and protective and not see us hurt or uncomfortable. But for me, it's just always come back to that question of if I want to find my passion, if I want to have a career I'm more fulfilled by, if I want to live out a life that I love, it comes back to if you could choose anything, what is it? And I really think the naming it is harder than most people think.
But when you actually can name it is when you can start to make those decisions and move forward and maybe surprise yourself or see like you did like what's really in there so strongly that it's on the brink of tears. It just has to kind of be acknowledged and named. So that I think is just a, it's a question I've just returned to and I've seen other people return to and seen the work if you allow yourself to go there.
Yeah. And how did you arrive at that through your journey of getting to naming it then? Yeah. I, you know, it's because when I was in my career, you know, from the moment I got out of college and even before that, it was always like, you know, get good grades to get into the next school.
And once you, and do all the extracurriculars because then you'll have more opportunities and you can follow the career path once you get the job. And, you know, I found myself having followed all those steps and checked all the boxes and having a job that was technically fine, you know, but that didn't really, really light me up and just feeling like there was more. And I would see other people that seemed like they knew what their path was, or they felt so sure in it, or they had a passion.
They came home and they loved to work on. And I was frustrated by not having that myself because I really felt like whatever it was, if I just knew it, I would work hard and I would go after it, but I just, I wasn't clear on what it was. And so I think it was just a lot of trial and error and introspection and journaling and trying things that didn't work that led me to that question of just like, okay, we've got to cut through all the clutter here.
If you could really have anything, what does it look like? And so I think it was just really wanting so badly to figure it out for myself and having so many other voices and, you know, your education system is one and it's just like culture in general and kind of wanting to cut to the heart of it for myself is what led me there. And then that opened up everything else because then I had a blueprint, even if I didn't know how to get there, I had at least a direction. And to me, that was a really much more rewarding place to be in because I could at least make forward progress and be consistent towards something like you mentioned, even if I was at that starting step, I knew where I was going from that point on.
Yeah. I can relate in it. It kind of, when you were talking about it, what bright, bright, uh, your bright life, or in other words, what lights you up.
And when I get talking about my children's books, like everybody's like, Oh my God, you got so much color. And it's something you could talk and talk. I mean, I just get so excited.
And I think maybe that's a good for people trying to figure out their passion or what they're like, even what do they like talking about and what do they get excited about? What, you know, when somebody you're talking to somebody like what's their reaction and, you know, that kind Yeah. Yeah. So did you have an aha moment then when it was like, okay, after the process in your blueprint, like, did you have an aha moment? I don't know if it was an aha moment for me as much as this gradual kind of unfolding.
So for me, like some of the ways that I would go about it is I would picture like in different kind of areas of my life. If I could have a career that was my brightest career, what would it look like? And it wasn't always knowing a job title, but it was having a sense of like, um, the feeling of like, okay, I sensed a little bit more fulfillment, more freedom. Um, I once did this, maybe this is a little bit of an aha moment, but I went to this retreat once because I was trying to figure out so badly, what is my passion? And it was this women's retreat.
And we did this meditation of like your perfect day. And then I couldn't see exactly what my career title and job would be, but I had this vision of me being able to have ownership of my day of my career. I could tell I was my own boss, even though entrepreneurship wasn't like this popular kind of thing, like it has become, um, with the internet and everything like that.
But that was for me, the first little inkling of like, oh, okay, there's a direction for me to go. And I had no idea how to create it, but it gave me enough that I could start to take steps in that direction. So I started taking more classes and things that interested me nights and weekends.
I started going to more, uh, like conferences and networking type things with other people that had started their own business. Um, I would take courses online if I saw something that interested me. And eventually that led me to kind of, you know, the business that I first created and, you know, all the other iterations since.
So sometimes I think people will have this aha moment where there's something deep inside them that they know. And sometimes it's maybe just this softer unfolding of like, this feels right. And let me continue to take action in that direction.
And I think sometimes that is how you find your way to the thing. It's like, you might not even know what it is. You just have to kind of continue taking action towards what feels right.
And now it's been so many years and you look back and it all makes sense, but in the beginning it can be very murky. So just kind of following those instincts of like, I'm curious about this. This sounds fun to me.
I've always wanted to learn about this. I love when I'm with this group of people and those kind of becomes threads that kind of lead you to whatever you're creating. Yeah.
No, you raised so many good points because I was acknowledging we're so afraid of failure, making the mistake, taking the wrong course, do it, you know, like, oh, I've wasted my money, but it's not wasting your money or it's not wasting your time because you've learned. No, I don't like that. Yeah.
I heard you, it was an evolution for you. So you tried something unknown. Yeah.
And there's like, oh, which leads to my next point that you raised was the feeling around it. Like so many times we don't trust our intuition and our feeling. And it's like, oh, I need to have this big epiphany or this big aha.
Maybe you do get it, but sometimes, like you say, it's just an evolution of trying different things. And then you just keep, oh, doing more of the same. Like, yeah, yeah.
A lot of good points in that. So, and then I think too, whether that leads to our self limiting beliefs, like our abilities or skills, or like you even had mentioned about the way we're raised or how society, like how, what in your book or how did you overcome yourself limiting beliefs and what are some common ones? And. Yeah, I know.
I think when I was newer into this journey of like starting a business or writing a book or hosting a podcast, I think that I thought it was more about kind of, I don't know. I think that I was more afraid of fear than I am now. I think I've realized now it's just a passenger on the journey.
When you are creating something, you're really excited about or haven't done before. It's not something to avoid. It doesn't mean you're going the wrong direction.
I really just think now I've made a lot of peace around it. Um, so some of the fears that I had and that I think are so common now with anyone I talk to, you know, you have fears around what will people think? Like that's so natural. And when you kind of look at it through a logical lens, I think it helps to just realize like your, your body and your brain are really trying to protect you.
As we've mentioned, I think they're really trying to just, you know, from an evolutionary perspective, it wasn't safe to be out on your own when the tribe is thinking this way or wanting this way for you. And so it tries to protect you and say, what will they think? And it's like, that's okay. You kind of just have to talk to yourself and give yourself a new frame of thought.
So I always call it like a reframing. Like you can write a more empowering belief because a belief is just something that we've collected a lot of evidence around. And so if you have the belief, someone won't like what I have to say, maybe your whole life, you've picked up on that from other people, or you've reinforced that for yourself, or it's just this tape you've been playing.
And so I always think about like, what is a more empowering belief or what else could be true? And what else could be true is that you could inspire people, like someone could be needing to hear what you have to say. Like with your message, there could be a parent that's had the hardest day ever. And then you sharing something that gives them encouragement or hope is like, could be everything for them in that moment.
And probably all parents have that feeling or that day when they know how much that was meaningful to them. And so if you can start to play that belief or that tape instead in your brain of like, I'm making a difference, my voice needs to be heard, I have this message to share for a reason, and start collecting more evidence for that. And your evidence could be every time someone writes to you and thanks you every review you get on a podcast or a platform like for a book.
It could just be the way you see someone's like eyes light up or their shoulders relax when you talk to them. You know, so you start to just gather those little seeds and morsels and the belief eventually does become stronger than that more limiting belief. So that's like the process I've used, whether it's anything like, oh, like, you know, what are they gonna think? You know, it's too late for me.
I can't make a change now. I've been in this one path forever. I don't know how to do that.
That's so cool. That's so cute. So yeah, it's so common.
I think it's like, just knowing that that doesn't mean you're on the wrong path, or that's abnormal, or it means you shouldn't keep going that actually, like, everyone who's done anything, you know, in their life that's new or different or big, they've had those thoughts has just really, I think, helped shift it and just help me keep going because we all have like those beliefs or some that are similar. I'm having fun. I needed outside.
But you know, the way it goes, right? And that is so, you know, fear. And I is so because there's also fear of success. So have the fear of failure, the fear of success, the fear of what other people like fear is such a big part of what holds us back.
And yeah, yeah, I don't know. Like, so what would your thoughts be on the fear of success? Yeah, I mean, that's a big one. I wrote a whole chapter in my book about shining, because so each chapter kind of takes on one part of the creation process of bringing a dream to life.
And one of the last ones I just kept thinking about was like, shining, because everyone thinks it's going to be so easy to succeed, right, or to have a goal, and that what they want is the perfect result. But actually, shining can bring up a lot of things for a lot of people. Because you may be standing out, you may be doing things that your friend or family circle has never done before, you may be getting a lot of eyes on you, and that can be uncomfortable.
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So I think fear of success, it's a very interesting one. But I think it's probably just as common as fear of failure. And people don't really realize it until you get into that position.
And then there's a lot to contend with around like, how do I make myself feel comfortable? How do I regulate my nervous system around a lot of people listening to my podcast or reading my book or their reactions and projections based on what I say that may be different from what they say. So I think that's a very, very common one. And definitely one I've had to like contend with myself.
And it's it sneaks up on you, you think it's only going to be fear of failure. And then, you know, it starts to shift a little bit too. It can be one at the end.
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And so much of it too, is our thoughts that don't even come to fruition, right? It's just everything that it's just like, oh, okay, if I'm successful here, oh, this might happen. And then it never does. And vice versa, even with fear of failure.
Like it's always, again, like maybe you can speak or expand on our positive or the way we talk to ourselves. Yeah. I think it all goes back for me, it's so helpful to just choose the belief that does get me to where I want to go.
So if I find one that's not helpful, like, if I'm successful, or, you know, something bad will happen, I try and choose something else. So one that I love is like, the better it gets, the better it gets. Because sometimes if you have something good happen, there's that fear of like the other shoe dropping, or something bad than having to balance it out.
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There's a great book on this called The Big Leap. And it talks about that kind of like, upper ceiling and limit and how people will maybe find success in one area, but then they'll self sabotage in another to always kind of stay in that same baseline. And maybe people have experiences to not probably just in business, but maybe in health, they've experienced that where they make so much progress.
But then they almost will self sabotage or pull back in another way or another area of their life, or, you know, a few months later with their health. And so for me, one is like, the better it gets, the better it gets. I try to remember that, you know, the more eyes on me, the more people I can impact, I think for me, it really helps to think about the person on the other side that maybe you're writing to or speaking to.
And it can take you out of that self kind of frame of like, oh my gosh, this, this, that or the other thing around me and be like, there's someone on the other end of this that probably really needs to hear this message today. Or this is exactly what could help move their life or relationship or business or, you know, family life forward. So for me, if I can just pull out of my own fears and think about that, that's another one that really helps me be like, what is this really about? And, you know, then you want to help and it doesn't matter kind of what your day may be like, or you know, what what you've experienced, it can really be about the other person a little bit more again.
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Yeah, I'm actually just reading that book now myself. Yeah. And it was, I mean, it's so true, because we limit ourselves and we do self sabotage.
And I mean, it's in weight loss, like all of a sudden, we're doing really great. And we're walking and eating properly. And then, oh, we self sabotage because we got to go to a party or we're doing whatever we, you know, we're always finding, I guess, maybe making excuses, or the path forward is sometimes harder.
So it's like, well, we're always picking the path of least resistance, right? So maybe that's more to the point to we go back to our comfort zone, which they talk about in the book with how we're regulated with a certain thermostat or, but that doesn't mean we have to stay there. So we talked about self doubt, didn't we? Yeah, there's so much of it, like how it can come in all the different sneaky ways your brain can manufacture that, you know, to maybe hold you back, or really, I think it's a better, like intention. I think it's to keep you feeling safe and comfortable.
But you just have to know that, like, creating anything you care about anything that you haven't done before is going to create discomfort. And they don't make you don't have to make that wrong. You don't have to make to make the discomfort that you feel wrong, it can just be actually reframed to be a sign that you're on a path that's meaningful to you.
That's making a difference. That's, you know, a whole different trajectory than before. You think the same thoughts day after day after day, of course, you're going to feel the same.
But sometimes there can be discomfort in staying somewhere you've outgrown to. So it's kind of like, which discomfort do you want to choose? Yep. And I think to so much of it, like you've talked about is, is the self talk that goes through.
So how was there a process in how did you start to reframe? Or how did you learn to change your thoughts? Yeah, I know, like looking back, I think that it was partly a mix of mentors that I learned from that said, you know, here's the way like, these things are completely natural, they're going to come up. And here is the thing about beliefs, kind of like I mentioned of just, you know, a belief is something that you've stacked evidence for throughout your life. It doesn't mean it's true.
It just means it's the thought that you've chosen to believe and to reinforce. And you can have those thoughts. But if you keep repeating a thought that doesn't get you to where you want to go to your like brightest future, is that really serving you? And is that really the like path that you want to be feeding? And so asking those questions, like what else could be true? Like, you know, really looking at your thoughts with fresh eyes and being like, is this something that I've just grown up believing? Or is this what I want for the rest of my adulthood going forward? Do I want to choose again, with fresh eyes, kind of just getting creative and allowing yourself to brainstorm a list of what else could be true? I don't know, it's a little bit trial and error of how I learned it.
But I think definitely like mentors along the way authors start to change your, you know, perception of things. I think whenever you're in that creation process, or you know, you want to start a business or write a book or, or launch a podcast, it just feels like you once you say yes to your path, I don't know about you, but I feel like you just feel so open. Like, it just feels like there's so many teachers, it's like that saying, when the student's ready, the teacher appears.
And it feels like there's this influx all of a sudden of teachers, whether it's through books, through courses, through podcasts, through YouTube videos, you stumble across, at least that was my experience. So I think it was some mix of those of just being like, oh, gosh, I didn't realize I was actually the one running these thoughts, these things that are playing constantly, I do have some control over. Let me look again and choose ones that are going to get me where I want to go.
If I feel like I'm stuck with one so far that haven't been doing that. I don't know. Is that your experience as well? Yeah.
And you know what I did? So when I was turning 65, it was like I was not happy with where my life was going. And I just, it was like that enough is enough moment. I had been doing the same thing over and over and over.
And I'm like, because that what's that the definition of sanity and expecting a different result. And I'm like, okay, so my tactic was, if I always went left, I decided I would go right. Oh, that's so clever.
Yeah. So if it was like, if this is the way I normally do things, then I'm totally going to do the opposite. Oh, I love that.
And I was like, it started to work. And it was like, oh, it was that was a big aha moment, like in trying to get out of that rut of, you know, how come things aren't changing. So that was one strategy I had.
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Join me next week as Jessica and I dive even deeper into our conversation, exploring more insights and inspirations you won't want to miss. There is always time to rewrite your family's story, break free from patterns that no longer serve you and create a home filled with love, understanding, and unwavering support. I'm here to guide you every step of the way.
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As I conclude this episode, I must state that this podcast is designed solely for educational and entertainment purposes. While I bring my experience as a parent and grandparent, it's essential that you know, I am not a licensed therapist. This podcast is not a substitute for professional advice from a physician, professional coach, psychotherapist, or other qualified professional.
Got it? Awesome. Until next time, what is one thing you are grateful for?
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