How to Help Kids Deal with Their Feelings After Trauma Like Hurricane Milton
How to Help Kids Deal with Their Feelings After Trauma Like Hurricane Milton
What You Will Learn:
- What is Trauma
- Understanding Emotions: Learning About Feelings
- What is The Feeling Wheel
- Steps to Use the Feeling Wheel
- Why The Feeling Wheel Matters
- Coping Strategies for Parents
- How to Help Kids Deal with Their Feelings After Trauma
What is Trauma
Trauma is when something happens that makes us feel upset, scared, or shocked and can stay with us for a long time. It can be a big event, like a hurricane, or a minor one, like your child’s favourite toy breaking. Trauma can also feel like grief because both involve loss. However, trauma also brings intense feelings of fear or helplessness, not just sadness. Whether it’s a loss or a scary experience, both trauma and grief can affect how you feel and act.
Understanding Emotions: Learning About Feelings:
Learning about feelings is essential for emotional intelligence and helps you cope with trauma. Many people use simple words to describe their emotions, like "happy," "sad," or "mad." However, these general terms don’t capture the full range of our feelings. This is where tools like the feeling wheel can be beneficial.
An emotion is a quick reaction your body has to something that happens, like feeling scared when you hear a loud noise and causes a physical response such as a racing heart or sweaty palms. An emotion happens before you think about it.
A feeling happens after you start thinking about that emotion, like feeling nervous or worried after the fear fades. Emotions are instant and physical, while feelings are more about how you understand and think about what you feel.
Last week, I had an experience that required me to dig deeper into my feelings. I initially thought I was hurt by something that had happened, but I knew that wasn’t what I felt.
I used the feeling wheel to help me identify other feelings and discovered I was feeling disappointment and discouragement, not hurt. I looked up the definition of disappointment, which is when your hopes or expectations are unmet, leading to unhappiness or discouragement. It can also arise from someone or something not meeting your anticipated quality or satisfaction. That was what I felt: disappointment and discouragement. By using the feeling wheel, I gained clarity on my emotions, which brings me to the importance of this tool in helping you identify and understand your feelings more accurately.
What is The Feeling Wheel
The feeling wheel is a visual tool for identifying and categorizing emotions. Categorizing emotions means organizing them into different groups or types based on similarities and differences. Categorizing emotions helps you understand your feelings by breaking down complex emotions into more specific ones.
For example, instead of just saying you feel "sad," categorizing allows you to identify whether you are feeling "disappointed," "frustrated," or "lonely." This clarity can make expressing your feelings easier and help you find appropriate ways to cope.
The feeling wheel starts with primary emotions at the center—like joy, sadness, anger, fear and love. Moving outward from the center, a secondary feeling of fear is nervousness or insecurity. Secondary feelings of love are peacefulness, desire and affection.
Utilizing the feeling wheel allows you to navigate the complex emotions that arise from traumatic events. Understanding fear and its related emotions empowers you to express your feelings, promote empathy, and foster a supportive environment.
This tool not only aids in processing trauma but also helps families develop effective coping strategies to manage their emotional responses together.
Steps to Use the Feeling Wheel
- Identify the Primary Emotion: Ask each family member to think about their feelings when an emotional event occurs. Start by identifying the primary emotion.
- Explore Related Emotions: Once the primary emotion is recognized, use the feeling wheel to explore related emotions. Encourage family members to discuss what specific aspects of their experience they are feeling. For example:
Your child might feel anxious when they hear about the threat of a hurricane on the news. Ask them to explain what’s making them nervous. Is it fear of the unknown or worry about safety?
The same goes for yourself. Your child’s fear might cause you to feel panicked about not being able to protect your family.
1. Foster Understanding: The feeling wheel can help your family see that they are not alone in their emotions. Recognizing that other family members share similar feelings can foster empathy and support within the family.
2. Develop Coping Strategies: Once emotions are identified and discussed, you and your family can brainstorm strategies tailored to specific feelings. For example:
- If someone feels anxious, you might practice deep breathing exercises together.
- If panic arises, you could create a family safety plan to help everyone feel more secure.
3. Check-in Regularly: Use the feeling wheel regularly as a family tool. Schedule times to check in on each other’s feelings, ensuring everyone has the opportunity to express and explore their emotions. This ongoing dialogue can strengthen family bonds and promote emotional healing.
Why The Feeling Wheel Matters
Understanding specific feelings is crucial for several reasons:
- Better Communication: When you can identify your emotions accurately, you can express them more clearly to others. Instead of saying, “I’m mad at you,” you might say, “I’m frustrated because I feel like my concerns aren’t being heard.” This opens up more productive conversations.
- Emotional Healing: Understanding your feelings is a critical step in processing trauma. When pinpointing specific emotions, you can work through them more effectively. This understanding can lead to healing and help you develop healthier coping strategies.
- Empathy for Others: By learning to identify your emotions, you better recognize what others might feel. This empathy helps strengthen relationships and provides support during difficult times.
Here’s a list of coping strategies and ways to support your children during this challenging time.
Coping Strategies for Parents
- Practice Mindfulness and Deep Breathing:
- Take a few minutes each day to focus on your breath. Inhale deeply through your nose, hold for a few seconds, and exhale slowly through your mouth. Breathing deeply through your nose can help reduce anxiety and promote calmness.
- Establish a Routine:
- Create a daily schedule to restore structure to your life. For example, have regular meals or go to bed at the same time. This will provide a sense of normalcy.
- Journal Your Feelings:
- Write down your thoughts and feelings about the trauma you’ve experienced. Use scrap paper or old notebooks if you don’t have a journal. Writing can be a powerful way to process emotions.
- Engage in Creative Activities:
- Like journaling, you can create art using whatever materials you have. Draw, paint, or craft using items you find. Creativity can provide an emotional outlet and help you express your feelings.
- Read or Share Stories:
- If you have books available, read or tell stories with family members. Sharing stories can help you bond and provide a temporary escape from reality.
- Practice Gratitude:
- Each day, take a moment to reflect on at least one thing you’re grateful for, no matter how small. Gratitude helps shift your focus from loss to appreciation.
- Physical Activity:
- Engage in simple exercises, like walking, stretching, or yoga. Movement can boost your mood and reduce stress. Even taking a short walk can help clear your mind.
- Limit News Consumption:
- While staying informed is essential, limit the amount of news you consume. Continuous updates can heighten anxiety and stress. Instead, set specific times to check the news.
- Seek Support from Others:
- Contact friends, family, or community groups to share your experiences and feelings. Connecting with others can provide comfort and understanding.
How to Help Kids Deal with Their Feelings After Trauma
- Open Communication:
Encourage your children to share their feelings and thoughts about what they are experiencing, such as hurricanes. Listen without judgment and validate their emotions. Let them know feeling scared, sad, or confused is okay.
2. Create a Safe Space:
Establish a designated area where your children can retreat to feel safe. This could be a corner with blankets and pillows where they can relax and process their feelings.
3. Engage in Play:
Use play to connect with your children and help them express their emotions. Encourage them to draw, build, or engage in imaginative play. This can help them process their experiences in a non-threatening way.
4. Incorporate Routine:
Maintain or establish routines for meals, bedtime, and other daily activities. Routines can provide children with stability and predictability during uncertain times.
5. Model Healthy Coping:
Demonstrate how you manage your emotions in front of your children. Show them healthy coping methods, such as engaging in activities that bring you a moment of joy.
6. Encourage Gratitude Together:
Practice gratitude as a family. Share one thing you’re grateful for each day. This can help shift focus from loss to appreciation and strengthen family bonds.
7. Establish a Family Journal:
Create a family journal where everyone can contribute their thoughts, drawings, or stories about their experiences. This shared activity can help you process trauma collectively.
8. Play Music or Sing Together:
Play music, sing or dance together. Music can be a powerful tool for emotional expression and bonding.
9. Seek Community Support:
Look for local support groups or community resources for families affected by the hurricane. Many organizations provide free resources and activities to help families heal.
Conclusion
Coping with hurricane trauma is challenging for parents and children alike. Implementing these strategies can create a supportive environment for yourself and your family. Engaging in simple, cost-free activities can help you process your emotions, rebuild connections, and find strength during this difficult time.
Here are three key points families can take away and implement when dealing with trauma. First, open communication is essential—encouraging family members to express their feelings can help everyone process the experience together and feel supported. Second, establishing a routine provides stability and normalcy, which can be incredibly comforting for children amid uncertainty. Finally, promoting healthy coping mechanisms, such as creative expression, play, or peer support, can empower family members to navigate their emotions and begin the healing process. By focusing on these strategies, families can foster resilience and recover together.
Change begins with ourselves!
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Lily’s Journey to Forgiveness: Letting Go of Hurt and Anger
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