11 Healthy Tips for Improving Your Well-being
11 HEALTHY TIPS FOR IMPROVING YOUR MENTAL HEALTH FOR A HAPPIER LIFE
What You Will Learn
- What Is Good Mental Health?
- What Is Well-Being?
- 5 Signs I Was Moving from Overwhelmed to Depressed
- 11 Healthy Tips for Improving Your Well-being
- The Role of Emotional Intelligence
According to the CDC, Mental illnesses are among the most common health conditions in the United States. More than 1 in 5 US adults live with a mental illness.
- Over 1 in 5 youth (ages 13-18), either currently or at some point during their life, have had a seriously debilitating mental illness.5
Mental health and well-being have become central concerns for parents, particularly as we encounter today’s uncertainties and challenges. One advantage you can provide your children is to be aware of the signs and set an example for them so they can learn ways to cope.
What Is Good Mental Health?
Good mental health involves coping with everyday stress, having healthy relationships, managing emotions, and facing everyday challenges. People with strong mental health feel more secure in themselves, can communicate their needs, and bounce back from setbacks.
What Is Well-Being?
On the other hand, well-being refers to our overall happiness, comfort, and physical and emotional health. A person with good well-being feels safe, loved, and supported. Encouraging well-being means creating an environment where we can be ourselves and make mistakes without fear of judgment.
One example for me is taking the rest I need without caring whether I have dusted or vacuumed the house. Well-being is also tied closely to self-esteem, something I am passionate about and write about in my children’s books. We all experience times of anxiety, depression, or feelings of overwhelm. The key is to manage these feelings in a healthy way.
5 Signs I Was Moving from Overwhelmed to Depressed
1. Chronic Stress
For the past five months, I have felt stressed by my many responsibilities. I took on an intense, time-sensitive project, released two children’s books, had home responsibilities, and much more. This ongoing stress led to anxiety, sleep problems, and getting teary when I usually wasn’t. I wanted someone to hug me and tell me everything would be okay.
2. Unhealthy Lifestyles
I noticed my eating and exercise habits changing. Before, I made healthier choices by eating fruits and vegetables. Instead, I turned to comfort food and craved cookies, muffins and grilled cheese sandwiches. I have never been so aware of emotional eating as I was the other day.
I also noticed that I was cancelling my workout sessions with my trainer. I only walked my dog once per day and not twice. Oh, I had good excuses why. I don’t have time. If I don’t walk the dog, I will have more time to finish my work. These poor choices caused me to put on weight, which started a new cycle of thoughts about how fat I was. It also contributed to a lack of sleep. I found myself at 3:00 a.m. wide awake, thinking about all the things I had to do, which caused fatigue, irritability, and a lack of energy. Now, I was in a downward spiral.
3. Lack of Routine and Structure
We all thrive on routine and structure. Inconsistent schedules or a lack of boundaries make us feel insecure and anxious. Because I wasn’t sleeping through the night, I felt tired during the day, which caused decision fatigue. Some nights, I felt wired and didn’t feel like going to bed at my usual time. On other nights, I wanted nothing more than to be in bed by 7:00 pm to escape all I had to do. I was irritable and lacked energy. These unhealthy decisions contributed to endless hours of scrolling through social media, which then caused more stress because I wasn’t getting things done that I needed to.
4. Self-talk
I have learned to become aware of my thoughts. I noticed that my thoughts became more negative as the days went on. These negative thoughts led to a poor me attitude. “Why bother?” This negative self-talk led me to shower less, dress grubbier, and not care what I looked like. These can be signs of not being happy and fulfilled.
5. Physical Symptoms
Something else I experienced was my body aching for months. My breathing became more shallow and wheezy. These can also be signs of depression. Some days, I couldn’t face eating healthy food. The thoughts turned my stomach. On other days, it was all I craved: a nice juicy apple or vegetables. Once I realized what was happening I started to turn myself around.
11 Healthy Tips for Improving Your Well-being
Turn to My Higher Power: I am a spiritual person, not a religious person. I believe there is a power greater than myself that surrounds me with constant and unconditional love. As much as I am not religious, I have read The Bible, and there is one verse that I live by. “Be still and know that I am God.” What this means to me is we all have the answers within us. When we are quiet without distractions, we hear our inner voice providing the answers we need. I do this by getting out in nature, taking a 3-minute walk, hugging a tree, or just standing outside taking deep breaths of fresh air.
Change My thinking: The second thing I do to feel happier and motivated is change my thinking. I changed my “why bother” to “I am worthy of a happy life.” “I can do this by taking baby steps.” “Just in this moment I will,,,, fill in the blank.” eat healthier, take a five-minute walk, take a five-minute break without my phone. I talk a lot about positive affirmations. We must constantly and daily feed our minds with all that empowers us.
Responsible for My Feelings: I had three children, 4, 3 and a newborn by age twenty-five. One day, I was suffering from post-partum and asked, actually begged, my husband to stay home from work because I knew I wasn’t going to cope. Instead of staying home, he walked out the door. That day, I learned that I am responsible for helping myself. No one can do the work for us; we must do it ourselves. We can seek guidance from professionals, which I highly recommend and have done for many, many years over my course of living. I have learned to hug myself and care for myself because I know what I need at that time. I haven’t always known. I have learned over the years.
Baby steps. Over the past several months, some days, I have had more energy than others. On higher-energy days, I did what I could, mindful of not overdoing things. On low-energy days, I did what I could by breaking things down into baby steps without beating myself up for not doing more. I kept reminding myself that “this too will pass.”
Set boundaries: I have learned to set boundaries because before, I allowed people to walk all over me and treat me with disrespect, further validating my belief in my low self-worth. Now, when someone treats me with disrespect, I calmly and nicely speak up for myself. This leads to better communication: assertive communication.
Assertive Communication: Now, I talk assertively by using “I statements.” They work wonderfully because I’m not attacking the other person. I state how I feel. For example, I now say I feel disappointed or overwhelmed.
Physical Activity: I have gotten back to walking regularly and working out. It has changed for the time being. I walk a few more times for a mental break but shorter durations. It always amazes me how taking a short break clears my mind and boosts my energy. Sometimes, I have to work hard to change my thoughts to exercise.
Supporters: I surround myself with people who love and support me just as I am, even if that means I only have myself. Do you ever notice that when you feel down in the dumps, people tend to avoid you, adding to your feelings of depression and loneliness? This is when you discover who your true friends are because they will accept you exactly as you are and are there to listen. I have two such people in my life. I appreciate them every day.
Self-care: Self-care is so important during these times. It is also important to know what you need. I love bubble baths. I take extra-long bubble baths and add Epsom salts when I have downtime. After a shower, I apply a lightly scented lotion. I am okay with scrolling on social media, knowing this isn’t my normal behaviour.
Music: Music can be a powerful healer. I have a playlist of songs that boost me up and empower me. I listen to them whenever I can and dance to the songs. One song on my playlist is Rise Up by Andra Day. When she sings the part of “I’ll do it a thousand times again, for you,” I point to myself in the mirror to tell myself I am here for you. Other songs on my playlist are: Unstoppable by Sia, Roar and Firework by Katy Perry, and The Climb by Miley Cyrus.
Hydrate: Another thing I do is drink more water. Our bodies need water.
By modelling these behaviours and being open with our kids about how we are feeling, we help them cope. We also need to help our youngsters identify their feelings, called emotional intelligence.
The Role of Emotional Intelligence
Emotional intelligence is the mental health and well-being ability to recognize, understand, and manage one's emotions and empathize with the feelings of others. Developing emotional intelligence gives us the tools to handle social situations and complex emotions in a healthy way.
How to Develop Emotional Intelligence in Kids
- Help Them Name Their Emotions: The first step in building emotional intelligence is teaching your children to identify and name their emotions. Instead of simply saying, “I’m mad,” guide them to be more specific, like, “I’m frustrated because I didn’t understand my homework.” or “ I feel hurt because I wasn’t invited to my friend's birthday party. Identifying their emotions helps them better understand their feelings and why.
- Create a Safe Space to Express Feelings: Let your child know that feeling angry, sad, or overwhelmed is okay. Instead of punishing emotional outbursts, guide them on how to handle their emotions constructively. Offering them tools like journaling, talking it out, or calming down can help children manage their emotional responses.
- Be the example: When we model calm, thoughtful responses to frustration or anger, our children learn that they, too, can manage their emotions. Children who see adults handle emotions effectively learn to practice self-control and patience in their own experiences.
Conclusion
Building good mental health and well-being in ourselves sets an example for our children. It doesn’t require grand gestures but small, consistent efforts. By encouraging open communication, developing emotional intelligence, and modelling healthy behaviours, we lay a strong foundation for our children’s mental and emotional well-being.
My books, Finding Lily’s Inner Magic and Lily’s Journey to Forgiveness, offer additional tools for parents. Through relatable stories about handling bullying feeling hurt and anger, children can see themselves reflected in Lily’s journey and learn how to handle their emotional challenges.
Change begins with ourselves!
To learn more about Cathy or FREE DOWNLOADABLE RESOURCES, check out parentingyoungsters.com
Children’s Books: Finding Lily’s Inner Magic: A Tale of Building Confidence
Lily’s Journey to Forgiveness: Letting Go of Hurt and Anger
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DISCLAIMER
The Tips for Parenting Youngsters Podcast and content posted by Cathy Barker is presented solely for general information, educational, and entertainment purposes. The use of information on this podcast or materials linked from this podcast or website is at the user’s own risk. It is not intended as a substitute for the advice of a physician, professional coach, psychotherapist, or other qualified professional, diagnosis, or treatment. Users should not disregard or delay in obtaining medical advice for any medical or mental health condition they may have. They should seek the assistance of their healthcare professional for any such conditions.
