Consequences to Children Who Constantly Hear Negativity

June 20, 2024

5 Harmful and Toxic Consequences To Children Who Constantly Hear Negative Words

One of my biggest regrets as a parent was not knowing about positive affirmations and talking to my children with positivity.

I grew up in a household where my mother told all the neighbours about my mistakes. I knew this because I heard her telling them. I had feelings of shame and embarrassment. I have since learned that was highly inappropriate.

Because of my upbringing, I consciously avoided repeating those mistakes with my children. What I hadn’t learned was to talk to my children in such a way as to build them up instead of tearing them down.

If I had to do it all over again, I would have started the day my child was born, telling them they are worthwhile and can achieve anything they set their mind to.

In last week’s episode, I wrote about how positive affirmations can enhance your mental and physical well-being and how repeating these simple yet profound statements can rewire your brain to think of positivity rather than negativity. This shift in thinking can reduce stress, improve self-esteem, and enhance overall happiness. Neuroplasticity, which is the brain's ability to grow and change by forming new connections, supports the effectiveness of affirmations in changing thought patterns. When positive affirmations become a part of your daily habit, you unlock many advantages, from cultivating better relationships and fostering optimism to realizing your fullest potential.

In this episode, I am expanding on the power of affirmations for you to teach your youngsters.

How Your Words Shape Your Child's Self-esteem: Use Positive Instead of Negative Words

Conversely, when you consistently use negative words or criticism, children take in these negative messages, leading to low self-esteem and a diminished sense of self-worth.

For example, a child who hears affirming statements like "I believe in you" or "You can achieve your dreams" is likelier to internalize these beliefs and approach life with a can-do attitude.

However, a child who hears negative statements such as "You can't do anything right" grows up doubting their abilities and feeling inadequate. I tended to speak to my children more this way. Not a proud parent moment!

Several years ago, I learned about two fascinating experiments conducted by Dr. Emoto that demonstrate the power of words and intentions. Dr. Emoto was a Japanese researcher, author, and entrepreneur known for his controversial experiments on the impact of human consciousness.

Dr. Emoto conducted two types of experiments: the water crystal and rice.

The Water Crystal Experiment:

Procedure: Dr. Emoto exposed two jars filled with water to various words, music, and environments. Several times throughout the day, Dr. Emoto spoke positive words like "love" and "gratitude" to one jar. He said negative words like "hate" and "anger" to the other jar. After thirty days of doing this, he froze the jars and examined the crystals under a microscope.
Findings: The jar of water exposed to positive words and music formed well-defined crystals, while the jar of water exposed to negative words and music formed distorted and chaotic patterns.

The Rice Experiment:

Procedure: Dr. Emoto placed rice into two jars, adding water. Again, to one jar, he spoke positively several times throughout each day with words like "thank you" and "I love you," while the other jar, he spoke negatively with words like "you fool" and "I hate you."
Findings: After 30 days, the rice in the jar that received positive affirmations was relatively unchanged, while the rice in the jar that received negative words had turned mouldy and decayed significantly.

Both experiments demonstrate the potential influence of our thoughts, words, and emotions on those around us, emphasizing the power of positivity and the harmful effects of negativity. Try it out with your loved ones or anyone, even your pet. Spend several minutes thinking of how wonderful your loved one is, their strengths, and what makes them unique. Then, see how they react. On another day, see how they react when you think of them negatively. I have tried this myself, and it is uncanny how much our thoughts change our lives and those around us.

5 Harmful and Toxic Consequences To Children Who Hear Constant Negative Words

Poor Academic Performance: Children with low self-esteem may doubt their abilities and shy away from challenges, resulting in lower grades and less participation in school.
Social Withdrawal: They may struggle to make friends or engage in social activities, feeling unworthy or fearing rejection.
Mental Health Issues: Persistent feelings of inadequacy can result in bouts of depression, anxiety, and other mental health problems.
Behavioural Problems: Low self-worth can sometimes manifest as anger, defiance, or other behavioural issues as children struggle to cope with their feelings.
Reduced Resilience: Children with low self-esteem may find it difficult to bounce back from setbacks, lacking the confidence to persevere.

How to Transform Your Words From Negative To. Positive Speech

As parents, how we speak to our children can significantly influence their self-esteem and development. These words can slip from our mouths without a thought because that is how our parents talked to us. I know mine did, and I did it with my children more times than I care to remember.

Transforming negative statements into positive affirmations can create a nurturing and empowering environment for your kids.

Here are five statements parents often say to their youngsters, along with their effects and how to reframe them. Like many parents, I’ve said these things myself and feel embarrassed knowing how they affected my children.

What Not to Say: "You never do anything right."

Effect: This can make the child feel incompetent and inadequate, leading to low self-esteem and a fear of trying new things.
What to Say Instead: "Everyone makes mistakes sometimes. I believe you can do it better next time."

What Not to Say: "Why can't you be more like your sister or brother?"

Effect: This comparison can create jealousy and inadequacy, potentially causing sibling rivalry and low self-worth.
What to Say Instead: "You have your own unique strengths and qualities that I love."

What Not to Say: "You'll never amount to anything."

Effect: This could significantly harm a child's self-belief, resulting in diminished motivation and hopelessness regarding their future.

What to Say Instead: "You have so much potential, and I know you can achieve great things."

What Not to Say: "Stop being so lazy."

Effect: This can make the child feel ashamed and criticized, potentially causing a negative self-image and decreased motivation.
What to Say Instead: "Let's find a way to get this done together. I know you can do it."

What Not to Say: "You're such a disappointment."

Effect: This can deeply hurt the child's self-esteem, making them feel unworthy and unloved.
What to Say Instead: "I’m proud of your efforts, and I know you can keep improving."

You can nurture your children's self-esteem and confidence by consciously choosing positive affirmations over negative statements, helping them develop a strong, positive sense of self-worth.

Start as soon as they are born. When holding them and feeding them, start filling their minds with positivity, and then, as they mature and develop, get your youngsters to repeat the same affirmations themselves. This habit will stay with them forever, helping them achieve their full potential.

How To Easily Teach Affirmations to Children

Make It Fun:

Incorporate Play: Use games and activities to make affirmations fun. For example, create an "affirmation jar" where children can write a positive statement daily.

Daily Routine:

Morning Affirmations: Start the day with a positive affirmation. Make it a part of the morning routine, like brushing their teeth or having breakfast.

Bedtime Affirmations: End the day with affirmations that promote relaxation and self-love, such as "I am proud of myself" or "I did my best today."

Use Visual Aids:

Affirmation Cards: Create or purchase affirmation cards with positive statements and illustrations. Children can choose a card each day to focus on.

Similarly, Use Posters and Sticky Notes: Place posters or sticky notes with affirmations around the house where your youngster can see them regularly, such as on the bathroom mirror or their bedroom door.

Encourage Personalization:

Create Personal Affirmations: Help your child develop the affirmations that resonate with them. Personal affirmations empower them to take ownership of their positive thoughts.

Positive Reinforcement:

Celebrate Success: When your child uses affirmations or displays a positive attitude, celebrate their efforts. Positive reinforcement can make the practice more rewarding.

Consistency is key. Repeat affirmations daily, ideally in the morning, to set a positive tone for the day or at night to end the day positively. You can also repeat them during moments of stress or doubt.

Affirmations work best when you believe in them. As you repeat your affirmations, try to feel the emotions associated with them and visualize the positive changes they represent.

Conclusion

Positive affirmations can transform lives by fostering self-esteem, confidence, and a positive mindset. From my personal experience, I've seen how regularly incorporating affirmations can profoundly impact mental and physical well-being, enhance relationships, and cultivate a more optimistic outlook on life.

You can integrate affirmations into daily routines at any age, and they serve as a simple yet effective tool. Starting the day your child is born can instill a sense of self-worth and resilience, helping them grow into confident and capable individuals. By consciously choosing to use affirmations and modelling positive behaviour, you can create a nurturing environment that supports your children's emotional and psychological development.

Teaching affirmations to your children can be fun and engaging, incorporating play, visual aids, and daily routines. Encouraging your youngsters to create affirmations and celebrating their successes can reinforce this positive practice.

Embrace the power of positive affirmations today and watch as you transform your life and the lives of those around you, bringing love, joy, and fulfillment into every moment.

Next Week’s episode:

Wayne Dyer once said, "When you judge another, you do not define them; you define yourself."

In parenting, judging others can sometimes feel like a big part of the journey. But have you ever wondered why we do it? Next week, I'm diving deep into the topic of judgment. I'll explore what judging others means and how it affects our families. From learning ways to avoid judging our kids to understanding how our decisions can shape their world, I'm on a mission to create a more supportive and understanding parenting community. Prepare to challenge your thoughts and see things from new perspectives.

Remember, the key is to lead by example and create a safe space for open communication within your family.

Change begins with ourselves!

You are not alone in this parenting journey!

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DISCLAIMER

The Tips for Parenting Youngsters Podcast and content posted by Cathy Barker is presented solely for general information, educational, and entertainment purposes. The use of information on this podcast or materials linked from this podcast or website is at the user’s own risk. It is not intended as a substitute for the advice of a physician, professional coach, psychotherapist, or other qualified professional, diagnosis, or treatment. Users should not disregard or delay in obtaining medical advice for any medical or mental health condition they may have. They should seek the assistance of their healthcare professional for any such conditions.

Episode Transcript

(Transcribed by TurboScribe.ai. Go Unlimited to remove this message.)

One of my biggest regrets as a parent, was not knowing about positive affirmations. I grew up in a household where my mother told all the neighbors about my mistakes. I knew this because I heard her telling them.

I had feelings of shame and embarrassment. I have since learned that was highly inappropriate. Because of my upbringing, I consciously avoided repeating those mistakes with my children.

What I hadn't learned was to talk to my children in such a way as to build them up instead of tearing them down. If I had to do it all over again, I would have started the day my child was born telling them that they are worthwhile and can achieve anything they set their mind to. In last week's episode, I talked about how positive affirmations can enhance your mental and physical well-being and how repeating these simple yet profound statements can rewire your brain to think positively rather than negatively.

This shift in thinking can reduce stress, improve self-esteem, and enhance overall happiness. Neuroplasticity, which is the brain's ability to grow and change by forming new connections, supports the effectiveness of affirmations in changing thought patterns. When positive affirmations become a part of your daily habit, you unlock many advantages from cultivating better relationships and fostering optimism to realizing your fullest potential.

In this episode, I am expanding on the power of affirmations for you to teach your youngsters. So, grab your favorite beverage, find a comfy spot, and let's get into today's topic of positive affirmations for your children. This is Tips for Parenting Youngsters, where every episode brings you closer to building self-esteem and stronger, more meaningful relationships with your children.

Youngsters are like sponges, absorbing energy and attitudes of the environment around them. When you are happy and positive, your children naturally pick up on these vibrations, causing them to feel happy and positive. Conversely, when you consistently use negative words or criticism, children take in these negative messages, leading to low self-esteem and a diminished sense of self-worth.

For example, a child who hears affirming statements like, I believe in you, or you can achieve your dreams, is likelier to internalize these beliefs and approach life with a can-do attitude. However, a child who hears negative statements such as, you can't do anything right, grows up doubting their abilities and feeling inadequate. I tended to speak to my children more this way, not a proud parent moment.

Several years ago, I learned about two fascinating experiments conducted by Dr. Emoto that demonstrate the power of words and attentions. Dr. Emoto was a Japanese researcher, author, and entrepreneur known for his controversial experiments on the impact of human consciousness. Dr. Emoto conducted two types of experiments, the water crystal and rice.

In the water crystal experiment, Dr. Emoto exposed two jars filled with water to various words, music, and environments. Several times throughout the day, Dr. Emoto spoke positive words like love and gratitude to one jar. He said negative words like hate, anger to the other jar.

After 30 days of doing this, he froze the jars and examined the crystals under a microscope. The jar of water exposed to positive words and music formed well-defined crystals, while the jar of water exposed to negative words and music formed distorted and chaotic patterns. In the rice experiment, Dr. Emoto placed rice into two jars and then added water.

Again, to one jar, he spoke positively several times throughout each day with words like thank you and I love you, while the other jar he spoke negatively with words like you fool and I hate you. After 30 days, the rice in the jar that received positive affirmations was relatively unchanged, while the rice in the jar that received negative words had turned moldy and decayed significantly. Both experiments demonstrate the potential influence of our thoughts, words, and emotions on those around us, emphasizing the power of positivity and the harmful effects of negativity.

Try it out with your loved ones or anyone, even your pet. Spend several minutes thinking of how wonderful your loved one is, their strengths, and what makes them unique. Then see how they react.

On another day, see how they react when you think of them negatively. I've tried this myself and it is uncanny how much our thoughts change our lives and the people around us. Here are five harmful and toxic consequences to children who hear constant negative words.

Children with low self-esteem may doubt their abilities and shy away from challenges, resulting in lower grades and less participation in school. They may struggle to make friends or engage in social activities, feeling unworthy or fearing rejection. Persistent feelings of inadequacy can result in bouts of depression, anxiety, and other mental problems.

Low self-worth can sometimes manifest as anger, defiance, or other behavioral issues as children struggle to cope with their feelings. Children with low self-esteem may find it difficult to bounce back from setbacks, lacking the confidence to persevere. As parents, how we speak to our children can significantly influence their self-esteem and development.

These words can slip through our mouths without a thought because that is how our parents talk to us. I know mine did, and I did it with my children more times than I care to remember. Transforming negative statements into positive affirmations can create a nurturing and empowering environment for your kids.

Here are some statements parents often say to their youngsters, along with their effects and how to reframe them. Like many parents, I've said these things myself and feel embarrassed knowing how they affected my children. Here's what not to say.

You never do anything right. This can make the child feel incompetent and inadequate, leading to low self-esteem and fear of trying new things. Now here's a way to reframe it.

Everyone makes mistakes sometimes. I believe you can do it better next time. Or how about this one? I know I've done this one.

Why can't you be more like your sister or brother? This comparison can create jealousy and inadequacy, potentially causing sibling rivalry and low self-worth. Here's a way to reframe that. You have your own unique strengths and qualities that I love.

Here's one I've heard so many times. You'll never amount to anything. This could significantly harm a child's self-belief, resulting in diminished motivation and hopelessness regarding their future.

You can reframe this by saying, you have so much potential and I know you can achieve great things. Here's another one. Stop being so lazy.

This can make the child feel ashamed and criticized, potentially causing a negative self-image and decreased motivation. You can reframe it by saying, let's find a way to get this done together. I know you can do it.

And the last one, you're such a disappointment. This can deeply hurt the child's self-esteem, making them feel unworthy and unloved. Instead, say something like, I'm proud of your efforts and I know you can keep improving.

You can nurture your children's self-esteem and confidence by consciously choosing positive affirmations over negative statements, helping them develop a strong, positive sense of self-worth. Start as soon as they are born. When holding them or feeding them, start filling their minds with positivity and then as they mature and develop, get your youngsters to repeat the same affirmations themselves.

This habit will stay with them forever, helping them achieve their full potential. You can easily teach affirmations to your children. Use games and activities to make affirmations fun.

For example, create an affirmation jar where children can write a positive statement daily and put it in the jar. Make affirmations a daily part of their routine. Start the day having them say a positive affirmation when they're brushing their teeth or having their breakfast or even at bedtime.

That promotes relaxation and self-love, such as I'm proud of myself or I did my best today. Create or purchase affirmation cards with positive statements and illustrations. Children can choose a card each day to focus on.

Similarly, you could use posters or sticky notes. Place them around the house where your youngsters can see them regularly, such as the bathroom mirror or on their bedroom door. Help your child develop the affirmations that resonate with them.

Personal affirmations empower them to take ownership of their positive thoughts. Or when your child uses affirmations or displays a positive attitude, celebrate their efforts. Positive reinforcement can make the practice more rewarding.

Affirmations work best when you believe in them. As you repeat your affirmations, try to feel the emotions associated with them and visualize the positive changes they represent. Positive affirmations can transform lives by fostering self-esteem, confidence, and a positive mindset.

From my personal experience, I've seen how regularly incorporating affirmations can profoundly impact mental and physical well-being, enhance relationships, and cultivate a more optimistic outlook on life. You can integrate affirmations into daily routines at any age, and they serve as a simple yet effective tool. Starting the day your child is born can instill a sense of self-worth and resilience, helping them grow into confident and capable individuals.

By consciously choosing to use affirmations and modeling positive behaviors, you can create a nurturing environment that supports your children's emotional and psychological development. Teaching affirmations to your children can be fun and engaging, incorporating play, visual aids, and daily routines. Encouraging your youngsters to create affirmations and celebrating their successes can reinforce their positive practice.

Remember, the language you use with yourself and your youngsters shapes your thoughts and reality. By choosing positive affirmations over negative statements, you can nurture a mindset that embraces growth, possibility, and self-love, paving the way for a fulfilling and empowering life. Embrace the power of positive affirmations today, and watch as you transform your life and the lives of those around you, bringing love, joy, and fulfillment into every moment.

Wayne Dwyer once said, When you judge another, you do not define them, you define yourself. In parenting, judging others can sometimes feel like a big part of the journey. But have you ever wondered why we do it? Next week, I'm diving deep into the topic of judgment.

We'll explore what judging others means and how it affects our families, from learning ways to avoid judging our kids, to understanding how our decisions can shape their world. Prepare to challenge your thoughts and see things from new perspectives. Thank you listeners for embarking on this journey with me today.

Your time and attention are precious, and I am genuinely grateful that you chose to spend them with the Tips for Parenting Youngsters podcast. Your support and engagement mean the world to me. As I conclude this episode, I want to remind you to subscribe to my podcast, Tips for Parenting Youngsters.

With new episodes released every Thursday, you won't want to miss out on the valuable insights and strategies I share for positive parenting. Embark on a journey of self-discovery, and join me as I navigate the complexities of parenting to build stronger family bonds and self-esteem. Parenting is full of challenges, but remember, the most profound change starts within us.

Be the role model your children look up to. They always watch and learn from us. For a wealth of free practical resources, visit ParentingYoungsters.com From tips on self-discipline and positive affirmations to various other valuable topics, our website is designed to support you and your family in your everyday parenting challenges.

There is always time to rewrite your family's story, break free from patterns that no longer serve you, and create a home filled with love, understanding, and unwavering support. I'm here to guide you every step of the way. As I conclude this episode, I must state that this podcast is designed solely for educational and entertainment purposes.

While I bring my experience as a parenting grandparent, it's essential that you know I am not a licensed therapist. This podcast is not a substitute for professional advice from a physician, professional coach, psychotherapist, or other qualified professional. Got it? Awesome! Until next time, what is one thing you are grateful for?