5 Unique Ways Self-care Will Boost Your Self-Esteem
5 Unique Ways Self-care Will Boost Your Self-esteem
Self-care is a big buzzword these days, right? But what does it mean? Well, most of the time, we think of it as treating ourselves to fancy spa days or hitting the golf course with our pals. For some, it's about enjoying a romantic dinner or hitting the gym regularly to stay healthy. Even taking a few minutes to sip coffee and scroll through social media can be self-care.
But it's more than just pampering ourselves—it's about doing things that help us live well and feel good physically and mentally. It's about managing stress and reducing the risk of getting sick. And guess what? Even small things we do every day can make a big difference!
Lately, I've been emphasizing the importance of raising kids to be their best selves, and here's the secret-it all starts with us, as parents. I've been sharing practical tips like asserting ourselves, practicing self-discipline, and forgiving. It might seem like a lot, but remember, we can take it one step at a time.
Self-care is about nurturing our minds and about how we perceive ourselves. When we have a strong sense of self-worth, we feel more empowered to navigate life's highs and lows, including parenting challenges.
Speaking of parenting, setting boundaries is a big part of self-care. —it's respectfully standing up for what we deserve, which can make a big difference in how we parent and handle other stresses in life.
Self-care is also about nurturing our relationships. When we address conflicts instead of letting them fester, we're not just taking care of ourselves but also fostering healthier connections.
And forgiveness? That's a significant part of it, too. Holding onto grudges can weigh us down, but forgiving others (and ourselves) can lighten the load and help us move forward, strengthening our bonds with others.
The best self-care I gave myself was forgiving my parents, particularly my mother. I can’t remember my age exactly, maybe around ten years old, but I knew something was wrong with my mom. She didn’t behave like a mom should.
I vividly remember the day I talked to my Dad about my concerns. We lived on the water, and my Dad and I were on our sailboat moored off-shore. Dad was working on the boat while I talked, and he listened.
Mom was sitting on the beach when Dad and I were talking. When we got to shore, She said, “I heard every word you said.” The wind had carried my voice. I felt devastated.
It wasn’t until after my mom's passing that I learned the dynamics between my mother and myself. What I experienced was a role reversal. My mom expected me to meet her needs and listen to her problems.
At the same time, my needs as a child were invalidated or shamed. I was there for my mom, but she was never there for me. When I acted like a child, she would get angry with me, as if how dare I do this to her. In other words, how dare you make me behave like a parent should. Consequently, as a child, parenting my mom also meant I was there to parent my three siblings.
I am telling you this because I needed to forgive my mother to reach my full potential and live a happy life. Not forget what happened, but let go of the anger and regrets for the childhood that I lost and the anxiety and depression that I suffered because of the demands put on me.
Forgiveness is when we let go of the anger and hurt we feel when someone has done something wrong to us. It's deciding not to hold a grudge anymore. Forgiveness is about dealing with our feelings, understanding why someone hurt us, and trying to move forward without being angry all the time.
Forgiveness is something that takes time and effort. It can be challenging. By forgiving others, we free ourselves from carrying around all that negativity and make room for happier and healthier relationships.
Forgiveness is like lighting a candle in a dark room. It brightens up our hearts and makes us feel better again.
As mentioned, I didn’t learn about my relationship with my mother until after she had died, and I spent time talking my childhood over with a counsellor. Understanding what happened to me helped in the forgiveness process because it validated all those years ago that I was right that day I talked to my Dad on the sailboat.
I can now think of my mom with love towards her. I am not sure if it is easier to forgive someone who is alive or who has passed away. Either way, my heart is lighter, and I am happier. It was one of the best ways to look after myself.
Self-care also includes saying positive affirmations and practicing gratitude. Telling ourselves good things and being thankful for what we have can boost our mood and outlook.
So, self-care isn't just about pampering ourselves but nurturing our physical and mental well-being. Whether setting boundaries, resolving conflicts, or practicing forgiveness, self-care empowers us to lead happier and healthier lives. By prioritizing self-care, we show ourselves the love and respect we deserve, setting the foundation for a fulfilling journey of personal growth and an example for our children.
In conclusion, self-care isn't selfish—it's essential. By nurturing our minds and bodies, we become better equipped to navigate life's challenges and foster meaningful connections with our family and others. Let's embrace self-care in all its forms, from setting boundaries to practicing forgiveness, and remember that by caring for ourselves, we can better care for our children.
Change begins with ourselves!
You are not alone in this parenting journey!
To learn more about Cathy or submit a topic or question, check out her website at parentingyoungsters.com
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The Tips for Parenting Youngsters Podcast and content posted by Cathy Barker is presented solely for general information, educational, and entertainment purposes. The use of information on this podcast or materials linked from this podcast or website is at the user’s own risk. It is not intended as a substitute for the advice of a physician, professional coach, psychotherapist, or other qualified professional, diagnosis, or treatment. Users should not disregard or delay in obtaining medical advice for any medical or mental health condition they may have. They should seek the assistance of their healthcare professional for any such conditions.
