How Self-discipline And Willpower Can Boost Your Self-esteem

You are standing by the ocean of your dreams, surrounded by doubts crashing like waves. The journey ahead looks scary, like a wild adventure. But deep down, you know it's worth every step, every hard choice. That's what self-discipline is all about.

That was me in January 2022. I wasn’t happy or enjoying my life, getting the same results over and over over again. You see, for most of my life, I struggled with weight fluctuation and, with that, feelings of shame, discouragement and sometimes defeat.

I was an emotional eater. Food was my best friend in happy times, sad times, and when I was stressed out. The scale became a mean judge, always telling me I wasn't good enough. At least, that is what I believed at the time.

But then, a little light of hope appeared. I knew I deserved a better life. One filled with health and purpose. I had been on a journey of self-discovery for decades but things didn’t change like the courses and books said they would. However, I persevered. Hoping the next book or course would make a difference.

So, I made the courageous decision to invest in my well-being, embarking on another journey of self-discovery to reach my best weight and stay there. So, I purchased a program that included a doctor specializing in weight management and a registered dietician. I also hired a fitness trainer. I was all set to conquer my weight. I was determined and excited, as we all are at the beginning of something new.

My first step was setting clear goals. At the beginning of the program, I regularly met with the doctor and registered dietician. We talked about my values and the times of the day I found the most difficult. Mine was the dreaded 3:00 pm slump, then aimlessly eating snacks while watching TV.

I broke my goal into manageable steps to help pave the way for my success. One pound at a time, I made progress. I saw results and loved the healthier version of me. I ate differently. I dressed differently. I felt marvellous. I wasn’t aware during this time that I used mostly willpower alone. It got exhausting.

Later in my journey, I discovered the difference between willpower and self-discipline. Willpower is about resisting temptation in the moment. It's saying "no" to something tempting like me resisting chips while watching TV.

There are times in our life when we do things unconsciously. I have heard it called being an unconscious competent. This means you do the right thing. You just don’t know what it is you are doing. Consequently, there were aspects of self-discipline I was using during this time, but they were just not enough.

Self-discipline is about creating routines and habits to help you stay on track with your goals, even when you don't feel like it. I did the first part, creating routines and habits. I missed the second part, “even when you don’t feel like it.” I wanted instant gratification with no sacrifices. I want my weight off now!

While self-discipline helps you stay focused on your long-term goals, willpower gives you the strength to make good choices in the moment. However, it's important to note that willpower can weaken throughout the day, known as "willpower or decision fatigue."

As the day progresses and you make more decisions, your ability to resist temptation can decrease. That's why it's essential to prioritize your tasks and make the most challenging decisions when your willpower is at its strongest, usually earlier in the day when rested.

By understanding the difference between self-discipline, willpower and the effects of willpower fatigue, you can better manage your efforts to reach your goals.

Challenges emerged as the days turned into weeks and the weeks into months. Summer arrived, bringing with it the allure of indulgence, the temptation to stray from the path I was on. My willpower was weakening. The self-defeating thoughts in my mind were getting stronger as I returned to my old ways of eating. I felt the same guilt, shame, and discouragement as the scale's number reversed. But this time, this time I wasn’t giving up.

My support team was terrific. They never judged me when I talked about how I needed a “cheat day” or the excuses I made for making unhealthy eating habits.

During this time, I hated working out. I wanted the results to be a fit, taunt, and lean body. But without doing the work. I wanted my trainer to yell at me and whip me into shape. I was agitated when he didn’t, so I let him know.

Instead, he was kind and supportive and redirected me to keep progressing steadily. He knew the missing piece. Willpower is not the answer. Self-discipline is. And therein lies the answer. Self-discipline enables you to stay focused on your long-term goals; willpower gives you the strength to make good choices in the moment.

Yep, I did it again. My weight continued to increase.

Have you ever had the experience of hearing something repeatedly, but it doesn’t resonate? I heard and talked about self-discipline but didn’t know what it entailed. I had never taken the time to study it—this time, I did. I knew that was the answer. That was missing the piece. That was my lightbulb moment.

I learned all I could about self-discipline by reading books and scouring the internet. I had to change my thinking. I had to push myself. If I ate unhealthy food, then my body weight would increase. I had to make sacrifices. Real sacrifices.

I had to do the things that most people don’t want to do. I weighed and measured my food. I counted calories and tracked them on myfitnessPal. I am so grateful for my fitness trainer. He knew I had to find it within myself to make the needed changes. By him believing in and supporting me, I began believing in myself. I became my best cheerleader, encouraging myself to keep working out and eating healthy.

I had to take ownship of my life. The only person I can change is myself. I made the choices to eat healthier and exercise regularly even when my support team wasn’t around to me accountable. I took responsibility for my actions.

So, armed with my new knowledge of self-discipline and willpower, along with all that I learned from my doctor and registered dietician, and continuing to workout with my fitness trainer, my goals and journey are very different. I am in it for the long haul. Yes, I sacrifice, but the reward is so much sweeter.

I constantly have to challenge my thoughts. Come on, Cathy, just have that chocolate bar. Not today; I will another day. I want to be healthy for my grandchildren.

Look, your husband is having chips. Don’t make him feel bad. Have some with him. My husband can choose to eat chips. I have decided not to eat after 6:00 pm and sticking to it.

Hey, look at you go. Reward yourself. Have a piece of cake. I reward myself with a relaxing bubble bath.

Every time I choose to focus and reach for my goal, the easier it gets, and my self-esteem increases, which makes it easier to say no, which boosts my self-esteem even more.

I am sharing this weight journey to empathize the importance of self-discipline because it applies to all our lives.

You are a superhero to your children because you teach them so many important things without even realizing it. One of the most important things you can teach them is self-control.

For example, when you are tired after a long day of work and still take the time to listen to them when they have something important to share.

Or not yelling at them when you feel frustrated and want to lash out at anyone who crosses your path Instead, you take a deep breath and stay calm.

So, when you learn to be disciplined, it's not just for you —it's for your whole family because it makes life happier and more successful for everyone.

I am so happy to say that with self-discipline, I know I am on my way to my best weight because I am different. Change begins with ourselves. I learned from my support team, including my fitness trainer, that I continue to work.

But in the end, it is up to me and only me. Once you learn self-discipline in one area of your life, you can apply it in all areas, such as your finances and career.

Reach for the stars and let your light shine.